Infatuation has been defined as “the emotional impulse of love, untested by time or circumstance.” Since infatuation can lead to real love, sometimes it is difficult to see the difference.
The characteristics in the chart below show the differences between infatuation and real love.
The Fairy Tale—Infatuation
Fall into it suddenly
Deepens little with time
Wants sex now
Up and down emotionally
In love with love
Fickle
Can’t eat or sleep
Hostile break-up at the slightest irritations
Emphasizes beauty
Gets
Based on my feelings
Self-centered
Shows emotion
Physical
Expects to find happiness
Asks “How am I doing?”
Focuses on the performance of the other person
May feel this way toward more than one person
Possessive
May be based on few contacts (only person you’ve dated)
Has an idealized Image of the other person
Avoids problems
The Real Thing—Love
Grows with time
Always deepening
Willing to wait for sex
Consistent
In love with a person
Faithful
Has proper perspective
Does not panic when problems arise
Emphasizes character
Gives
Based on other’s needs
Self-controlled
Shows devotion
Spiritual
Expects to work at happiness
Asks “How are you doing?”
Provides unconditional acceptance of the other person
Feels this way toward one and only one
Allows the other person to relate to others
Based on many contacts (dated many others)
Has a realistic view of the other person’s strengths and weaknesses
Infatuation has been defined as “the emotional impulse of love, untested by time or circumstance.” Since infatuation can lead to real love, sometimes it is difficult to see the difference.
