Fully Loved: See Yourself as God Sees You

by Sheri Bell on 19 July, 2021

Ladies, in this blog series exploring our true identity, be reminded of this truth: YOU are unconditionally, unceasingly, fully loved by God right now and forever!

To begin to walk in the assurance of this amazing gift, you have to choose to accept His love. Stop fighting God on His love song to you. If you’ve had few people love you well, getting there might be hard. If your relationship with your own dad is difficult, for example, it might be über hard for you to accept that God’s love is unconditional. You might truly struggle with accepting His affection.

But no matter what, God’s love is stuck to us like Super Glue. We have this promise in Romans 8: NOTHING can separate us from God’s love for us. Not the present, not the past, not the future. Not what we said, or what we don’t say. Not what we did, or what we don’t do. God’s love is like Velcro. Get used to the idea: You are fully loved. Lean gratefully into this truth!

In remembering Christ on the cross, pastor Tim Keller says:

“If He wouldn’t abandon you when hell itself was coming down on Him, and if that didn’t separate His love from us, you think your having a bad week is going to do it? If someone’s going to spend a billion dollars on your present, do you think he’s going to skimp on the wrapping paper? This is the love you’ve been looking for all your life.“

We Are Fully Loved!

My favorite Bible verse that talks about the depth of God’s love is in Psalm 103: “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him.” “You choose me?” I respond to God in amazement. “You know all about me, my weaknesses, my faithlessness, my selfishness, and you still love me as I am? Wow!”

Too many of us are trying to earn God’s love. We think, “I need to straighten out my life before You can accept me as I am.” But this thinking is NOT biblical. As the apostle Paul wrote, “It is by grace that you have been saved, through faith — and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — not by works, so that no one can boast.”

Gals, our “do” is not our “who.” Just look at the example of the thief on the cross next to Jesus.

Jesus didn’t tell the man, “Sorry, dude, you had your chance and screwed up. I don’t accept you.” How did Jesus respond to the thief? He fully embraced him, promising him that they would be together in heaven! The repentant sinner could do nothing at that point to improve his chances of being found “good enough” — but he was!

So how about you and I believe that God’s promise of unconditional love is reliable? As author Priscilla Shirer says, God accepts us, and patiently works in us for us to become women who look more like Him. We only get there by believing in the vision He holds for us: fully loved and accepted right where we are right now. God is our biggest fan and cheerleader.

As our loving creator, God says two things to us: “You are my child. I have chosen you.” Can you wrap you mind around the truth that God had you on His mind before you were even born? Let that truth sink into the depth of your heart and noggin’.

It may take a lot of determination on your part, based on what has happened to you in life at the hands of other people. But as you begin to accept just how fully loved you are in God’s eyes, you WILL be able to break through the fear and doubt that keep you from accepting His pure love.

Gals, we must get there and here’s why: it is ONLY when we accept that we are fully loved that we can then love others well. We don’t want to miss out on that!

This blog series is based on Josh McDowell’s book See Yourself as God Sees You. It is our prayer that during this series you come to recognize and accept your true personal identity! God couldn’t love you more!

Josh’s 4 Tips for Resolving Conflict

by Guest Blogger on 25 September, 2019

Welcome! Thanks for joining us for this, our latest post in the year-long blog series we’re calling “Journey Together.” In this post Josh McDowell offers us four tips for assessing the source of conflict in our lives. How much do we create ourselves?

Photo by Helena Lopes from Pexels

Important Life Lessons

If it were up to me, by the time students exit elementary school they would be intentional in reflecting good citizenship via their words and actions. Think how great junior high and high school would be without the unnecessary drama!

I’d also make sure that teens learn critical financial basics: that they can balance a checkbook, and they understand that financial freedom follows saving and not misusing credit cards. (And that developing a daily $5 latte habit ain’t smart.) And that they realize the snare of instant gratification, and that every choice and action (and inaction) adds up to shape the path of their life.

Man, I’d want them to *get* that life is supposed to be hard, in order to develop their inner strength and confidence and resourcefulness. And that it doesn’t serve them to walk around continually offended and in conflict with others. Don’t we tell our kids not to bully each other? But they watch as we “adults” then viciously denigrate each other, particularly online. Where’s the disconnect? My thought is stored up hurts and anger.

So many people are at full rage because they don’t know how to productively let off steam. They lack the tools for peaceful co-existence; they haven’t been taught how to show respect for the differing opinions around them. 

The Pesky Ego

Exploding at someone temporarily feels powerful, but in the end accomplishes very little. God designed us to to live in community, but we stall any chance of that when we “do” life in conflict. “Community” demands good citizenship: healthy boundaries, safe ways to express needs and feelings, and humble hearts.

Yet isn’t the overall message we get from society to live preoccupied with self? 

If we are encouraged to be self-absorbed, society fails to hold us to an acceptable standard of community. We can’t, for example, toss mean words at someone and not expect them to boomerang. We can’t toss a punch and not expect to also gain bruises. We can’t seek revenge and not expect an escalated response. Unless we’re taught to live to a higher standard that says, I will treat others with goodness, because everyone is a highly valued child of God.

Somehow we’ve allowed society to “Go for the gusto!” in the wrong direction. How desperately we need a course adjustment to again commit to the selfless values of kindness, honesty, civility, etc. Mr. Rodgers, come back! We need your humble influence!

“We live in a self-centered culture. Society’s emphasis is clearly on pleasing ourselves, not on nurturing our relationships. So we must rise above our culture and resolve our conflicts — not dissolve our relationships — if we truly want to experience intimate, fulfilling relationships.” ~Josh #conflict

Josh’s 4 Tips for Navigating Conflict

Despite what our media glorifies, we’re not too cool for school when we’re jerks to other people. Not even when we’re reacting to a jerk who snubbed us first. We must remember that our response is completely independent of how we are treated.

The root cause of much of the conflict in our world today is our unwillingness to forgive. As Josh notes, “Forgiveness is the oil of relationships.” God calls us to forgive. Not to excuse the other person’s action(s), but to FREE ourselves. Jesus tells us to forgive so we don’t walk around just waiting for an excuse to unload our stored up reservoirs of anger and hurt.

Sometimes conflict comes to us. But sometimes we bring it. Let’s look at Josh’s 4 conflict assessment tips:

Tip 1: Assess Your Attitude. As Aretha Franklin famously crooned, at issue is your R-E-S-P-E-C-T for others.

Are you speaking respectfully to others? Are you respectfully listening to others? Are you respectfully looking at others — or flashing them looks that communicate “You’re stupid!”? Are you acting respectfully? The truth: If we’re disrespectful to others, we’re also disrespecting ourselves.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Tip 2: Assess Your Emotional Base. Do you resemble a prickly cactus?

There’s a reason why, in Ephesians 4:26, the Bible reminds us to unload our anger daily before the sun sets. Our anger is like cement boots. When we refuse to take off the boots, we walk around cranky. I used to think I couldn’t release anger because the person who offended me might get the wrong message that I was okay with what they had done. I thought I would show up as a pushover. But releasing a grudge actually demonstrates our strength. Eventually we learn that forgiveness is for our benefit, not another. We hold the power!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Tip 3: Assess How You React: Are people responding to you negatively because of your behavior patterns?

So, here’s the thing: until we learn better, we tend to echo the bad patterns we learn at home. When you have conflict, have you learned to give people the silent treatment, freezing them out until you decide to thaw? Or perhaps your default is to draw blood with sarcasm. Or maybe you start crying to diffuse conflict. Or you plaster a smile on your face, acting like nothing is wrong. I had a college roommate who deflected any conversation she didn’t want to have. If I said, for example, “I’d like to know why you leave dishes in the sink instead of putting them into the dishwasher,” she’d respond with something like, “When you’re perfect, we can talk.” Yowza! It’s tough dealing with a narcissist.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Tip 4: Assess If You’re Reactive: Do you wait to see how people treat you before you decide how to treat them?

I’ve heard people say, “I only give respect to people who give it to me.” That might sound logical, but it’s an immature stance. And it lacks grace, which we ALL need on the days we don’t bring our best. Our being respectful should be entirely based on our choosing to be like Jesus. He had compassion and grace for even the rudest of people. Perhaps this analogy helps: Picture yourself as a bright, shinny quarter. You don’t become a penny just because you’re tossed into a jar full of pennies. Right?

The famous prayer of St. Francis of Assisi includes this line: “Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace.” Image what our relationships would look like if we, too, fervently committed to this prayer. #noconflictzone #goodrelationships #healthycommunity

In our next blog post, let’s look more at relationship dynamics.

Catch up: The introductory post to this series.

Parents: 7 Tips for Great Parenting

by Guest Blogger on 18 September, 2019

Welcome! Thanks for joining us for this, our latest post in our year-long blog series we’re calling “Journey Together.” In this post Josh shares 7 tips (his “7 A’s”) to help parents develop great relationships with their kids. Good parenting doesn’t just happen, it’s learned.

The “7 A’s” include Affirmation, Acceptance, Appreciation, Availability, Affection, Approach Their World, and Accountability. If we parents focus on these areas, we’ll significantly improve our family relationships. To watch Josh’s videos on this topic click here. This is good stuff. Let’s dive in!

Photo by Emma Bauso from Pexels

The #1 Thing Kids Want From Parents

Is it an iPhone? A car? Their own TV? While high on the list, these wants don’t claim the #1 spot. What kids want most from their parent(s) is a happy home life. So not things, but relationship.

Kids want the security of a home life that shelters, supports, encourages, and guides them. A home life that affirms their value. Kids want caregivers — parent(s), grandparents, others — who believe in them and enjoy having them around. In one survey alone, teens overwhelmingly said a happy home life is way more important than being rich.

From the get-go, we crave relationship with our parents. Not gaining that solid connection can have a lasting, negative impact. As an adult, for example, music legend Michael Jackson admitted, “I just wanted a dad. I wanted a father to show me love. But I never once heard my father say, ‘Michael, I love you.’” Clearly, Michael was still hurting from that loss.

If you want to become a better parent, read on! Josh’s 7 relationship tips will help you move from baby steps to confident strides.

Josh’s “7 A’s” for Parents

Affirmation

One of the most effective ways to build relationship with your child is to affirm his or her feelings. To affirm means to “validate or confirm.” What might affirmation look like? It might be telling your kids that you see how hard they are working at developing a new skill. It might be complimenting them on their test grade, or acknowledging how well they handled a tough situation. It might be pointing out areas where they stepped up, without being asked, to do a household task. It might be simply telling them that you’re proud of them.

Tip: Assess if you’re quick to point out when your children mess up, but fail to consistently recognize when they do well.

Our kids want to know that we notice their efforts. But they also need us to affirm their worth when they mess up. Otherwise, we tie their “who” (their person) to their “do” (their actions). That’s not how God sees us! Behaving badly at times doesn’t make us bad people. Behaving selfishly at times don’t make us selfish. It makes us human. Our goal should be to better reflect Jesus — though it might take us a lifetime of small steps to get there. 😉

Never fail to tell your kids how much God is for them! Show them this truth in God’s Word.

Acceptance

Your kids crave knowing that, even on their worst day, you still want them. That you will love them, no matter what. Your acceptance gives your kids a powerful sense of security. Acceptance does not mean that you approve of or endorse all of your child’s actions. What it does mean is that you don’t waver in your belief of their inherent value. You affirm that your love is not conditioned by their actions.

Tip: Don’t make your kids think, act, or sound like you before you show them acceptance. Your child longs to hear you say, “There is nothing you can ever do – NOTHING! – that will cause me to stop loving you.”

If your teen daughter gets pregnant, does she know that you will still love and accept her? If your son lands in jail, does he know the same? Some parents find it really hard to stop punishing their kids for their mistakes and missteps. Perhaps because they overlook their own huge need for grace. God gives us endless chances to grow into our best selves. Let’s do our best to model that grace to our children.

Never fail to tell your kids that God’s love for them is constant. There is nothing they can do to cancel out His love for them!

Appreciation

When we express appreciation to our kids, we gift them with a sense of significance. We remind them that they matter! And we form the habit in ourselves to see the positive. Says Josh, “I’m convinced that the more I caught my three daughters and son doing things right and expressed my appreciation, the less there was to catch them doing things wrong.”

Tip: Parents, what you focus on grows. Focus on finding fault, and fault will grow. Focus on the positive, and your family will glow.

We help our children to become capable and confident when we remind them of their God-given strengths and talents.

Never fail to tell your kids that God delights in their doing their best. And that He made them unique; each person truly is special!

Affection

Kids need affection at every age. Our loving words and touch communicates to our kids that they are lovable. That they are worthy of our focus and care. That we’re glad that God has given us the privilege of being their parents.

Josh’s wife, Dottie, shares this personal anecdote from her own childhood:

“My mom had so many creative ways of letting us know how much she delighted in us. One very powerful thing she always did was to warmly greet us every time we’d walk into her presence. It didn’t matter if we had been gone five hours or five minutes! What did this communicate to me? That my mom was happy to just be with me. Did this help me understand that I was lovable and treasured? Absolutely! So when Josh and I had our children, I did the same thing for them. It made perfect sense to me; I had seen it modeled so often.”

Tip: “I love you” doesn’t have to be conveyed only in words.

We can express our love through our smile, our eyes, or appropriate touch — perhaps a caress on the cheek or a tight bear hug. Some families are big huggers. Others like to use high-fives. Others kiss every time they part. Once you learn how your child likes being shown affection, dish it out with gusto.

Never fail to remind your kids that God is fond of them. He created them!

Availability

The only way that you and I can demonstration affirmation, acceptance, appreciation, and affection to our kids is if we make ourselves available. Especially if we’re single parents. You might think that your kids don’t need or want you around. But you’re wrong. Your time and focus means the world to them, even if they don’t feel safe in showing it.

A young songwriter penned these lyrics about her absentee dad: “I wear your old clothes, your polo sweater. I dream of another you, the one who would never leave me alone to pick up the pieces – a daddy to hold me. That’s what I needed.”

Tip: “If you spend time with your children now, they’ll spend time with you later. If you love them now, they’ll love you later. If you talk to them now, they’ll listen to you later. If you listen to your children now, they will talk to you later. If you hug them now, they will hug you later.” ~Dottie

The more time you put in, the closer you’ll become. It’s the small, daily, teachable moments that help to cement a deepening connection between us and our children. Our consistent, positive interaction builds a strong foundation of trust that enables us to maintain a connection even during the rocky moments in our relationship.

Never fail to tell your kids that God is ALWAYS with them. Even when they can’t sense Him. Teach them to trust in His goodness, and to relax in His promises of working in their lives.

Approach Their World

When parents show interest in what their kids are interested in, they’re really saying, “I care about you and what makes you you.” You and I need to find out what our kids care about, and then step into those interests to experience them with them. As our kids get older, of course, it’s a good idea to knock before entering. 😉

Tip: If you want to build relationships of substance with your kids, learn what interests them and find ways to support those interests.

Josh admits to having spent a lot of hours playing with his daughter when her Barbie dolls rocked her world. While some dads might think it silly to play with dolls or participate in their daughter’s tea party, Josh says those old memories continue to bring him a lot of pleasure. When his son, Sean, was hot for sports cars, Josh contacted area car dealerships to ask if they would give them test drives. More than a quarter of a century later, Sean still talks about that thrilling afternoon with his dad.

Deep bonding builds as two people enjoy a hobby or activity together. So does understanding.

Never fail to tell your kids that God is interested in every aspect of their life! 

Accountability

Parents, we must show our children affirmation, acceptance, appreciation, affection, availability and a sincere enthusiasm for their world. But we also must balance these relational connecting points with loving limits and boundaries, or our kids won’t learn responsibility. They won’t mature properly. They’ll be only a shadow of their best self.

Tip: As Josh says, “Rules without relationships lead to rebellion.”

Young people do not respond to rules …. they respond to rules within the context of loving, intimate relationship. On a broader scale, this truth applies even to the school classrooms and work environments.

Accountability provides the safe, secure parameters for our babies, toddlers, and especially our teens. Without the loving authority of parents and caring adults, kids will struggle to make responsible, right choices. Our kids think they know everything, but we know just how badly they need our wise counsel. Tell them about the hard lessons you’ve learned over the years, and where you wish you’d been guided in avoiding them.

Never fail to tell your kids that God’s rules and boundaries are for their protection, not to stall their fun. God is wise and loving and way smarter than we are. We can trust Him.

Parents, we have no guarantees with parenting, because our kids have free will. They, ultimately, will decide who they become. But if we have worked hard to establish healthy relationships, we have a much better shot at guiding them to become capable, confident, respectful adults who love and follow God. Let’s rise to the challenge!

√ CLICK HERE to view all of Josh’s parenting videos.
√ Click HERE to view Josh’s Father Factor report.

In our next blog post, let’s look at Josh’s 4 tips on reducing conflict. Hint: it starts with us!

Catch up: The introductory post to this series.

Cultural Tolerance Fails Us

by Guest Blogger on 14 August, 2019

Welcome! Thanks for joining us for this, the latest post in our new year-long blog series we’re calling “Journey Together.” In this post, let’s look at the word “tolerance,” and whether society pushes its intended meaning. 

Tolerance, traditionally, is defined as respectfully acknowledging another’s subjective beliefs and opinions — without endorsing or accepting them. As Josh McDowell puts it, “…loving someone with whom you may totally disagree.”

Today, however, society is pressuring us to accept a new meaning: one that says to be “tolerant” of another is to accept all subjective beliefs as valid. That each person’s dignity and self-worth actually depends on everyone else endorsing their personal “truth.” That each person has the right to a moral code so subjective that no one else can judge it, regardless of its effect on themselves or society. And that those who “judge” it, must be shouted down and silenced.

As Wendy Kaminar, a lawyer and writer put it nearly a decade ago, contemporary liberalism involves a virtual embrace of censorship; a therapeutic approach to rights; very expansive definitions of ‘harm’; and hostility to freedom of speech, conscience, and belief. We are being sold the notion that “tolerance” must protect all persons from feeling “emotionally harmed.”

Thus, adds, Kaminar, the rise of advocates of “equality” and “diversity” who believe society must sacrifice First Amendment rights to guarantee a truly tolerant society. “How long,” she asks, “have we heard… ‘I don’t believe in censorship, but free speech doesn’t include the right to offend.'” This is most evident on college campuses, she adds, “where students are regularly punished for jokes, satire, insults, and political speech that is considered demeaning to some presumably vulnerable group.”

The result? Society is priming us to live in a constant state of offense. Where’s the tolerance in that? People, we’re being played!

Tolerance and Love

I try to picture Jesus standing before an engaged crowd with a big smile on His face as He says, “You do you, and I’ll do me. Anything and everything goes!”

But I can’t. Because that’s not the message of truth that God took on human form to teach. Yes, Jesus affirmed the inherent value of the every person as God’s created children. But He also always directed people to live to God’s standard, that they (we) might grow into their (our) best selves and honor God.

The Bible clearly shows us that love trumps all. We are to 1) love God, and 2) love our neighbor as ourselves. We are to live in peace with one another (Hebrews 12:14), and we are to quickly forgive one another (Ephesians 4:32). But we also are to help each other live within God’s establish boundaries. Because God hates sin. We are to offer one another grace (tolerance), as God “cleans up the junk in our trunk.”

As Dr. Henry Cloud, the co-author of the New York Times bestselling book, Boundaries, puts it: “Truth without grace is judgement, and it can kill someone’s spirit. True love is grace and truth together. Show up with both at all times.” Just as Jesus did.

Addressing Christianity’s Intolerance

One reason the world views Christianity to be so intolerant is that too many of us make it our default to lead with judgement. And we don’t just reserve our criticism for those outside the church. Some of us think it our job to crush our Christian brothers and sisters with condemnation.

“Anyone who has been in the church for very long has been hurt by people in the church,” notes Dr. Cloud. “For in the body of Christ, we find some harsh realities: judgment, pride, self-centeredness, manipulation, abandonment, abuse, control, perfectionism, domination, and every kind of relational sin known to humankind. The walls of the church do not make it safe from sin. In fact, the church by definition is composed of sinners.”

But condemnation never leads anyone to rise to a higher standard. Our own hearts must first be tender, to effect softening the hearts of others. That’s why Jesus first showed that He cared about people’s hurts and needs before He talked about their sin. His tolerance of their humanity led them to being open to admitting the sin that was destroying their lives.

I know one Christian woman who spends most of her time pointing out how others are sinning (she even writes caustic letters to well-known pastors to tell them how they’re missing the mark). She truly is one of the unhappiest people I have known, in part because she lives in a constant state of offense, for even her own screw-ups. Grace and tolerance are, to her, foreign concepts. She has accepted only part of the Gospel message. 🙁

Where, friends, have we gotten the message that we need to judge sin before we can show love? Certainly not from Christ’s example.

Seeing How “Cultural “Tolerance” Lacks Tolerance

I do understand the fear that society is “going to hell in a handbasket,” to echo the popular phrase. When “truth” and “morality” are seen as entirely subjective, we do have cause to be concerned that society might implode. But cultural tolerance, in the way society nows defines it, is not the path of “enlightenment” it promises.

In an earlier series of blog posts we did based on Josh’s book, The Beauty of Intolerance, we highlighted three ways that cultural tolerance fails us:

FAILURE #1: Cultural tolerance promises complete moral freedom — but chains us.
Ah, the allure of empty promises! Let’s think through the consequences of an “anything goes” society. Here’s just one example: In one of those popular one-the-street interview shows, one young woman declared that she’s perfectly okay with a father and daughter having a sexual relationship, because “people should be allowed to do what they want.” Really? Yowza. She clearly hasn’t thought through the negative outcomes of society endorsing such relationships.

FAILURE #2: Cultural tolerance trains us to react to life from a fluid standard of our subjective emotions and personal life experiences. The sand will always be shifting.
Without a set moral standard, too many of us “do life” by how we feel. And boy do we open ourselves up to a whole lot of unnecessary drama. “I’m not feeling it, man” sounds reasonable — until we compare it to God’s word. I don’t feel like being patient. God tells me to be patient. I don’t feel like I have to be the first to forgive. God tells me to restore relationships before the sun sets. I don’t feel like I need to give my time. God tells me to generously serve others. It’s all about me, baby, and you can go away if you don’t like it!

FAILURE #3: Cultural tolerance uses shame to control us — while proving its own intolerance.
It hurts to be called a “bigot.” Or a “hypocrite.” Or “unloving,” “judgmental,” or a “jerk.” Because we’re hardwired for community and connection, feeling ostracized crushes us. I detest bullies — but I have to remember that many of those now screaming for subjective “truth” have been programmed in their thinking by the media, schools, and other sources that seek a post-God norm. Some of them have been bullied by messy Christians they’ve bumped into. But many have been misled to believe that Christianity has no positive effect on society — which is simply untrue.

Tolerance, Jesus Style

Friends, let’s show the world that it’s wrong about the Church only seeking to control and condemn. Where there is yelling, let us breathe kind whispers. Where there is scorching fire, let us pour refreshing water. Where there is hate, let us reflect God’s love. Let us bring God’s unswerving truth. It’s this tolerance that Jesus modeled. 

Bottom line: Christians don’t get a pass for being jerks to others. If you’ve ever told someone, “God hates you!”, please ask for forgiveness. Jesus came to show all of humanity the length He’d go to to reconcile us to Himself. Jesus died for EVERYONE. Which means God hates NO ONE. And as He invites us into daily relationship, He tolerates our moments of failing as He leads us into maturing and reflecting His character. Think about that amazing grace! Imagine how little we’d trust and love Him, if His daily response to us was heaping condemnation. 🙁

Cultural tolerance fails us. But we can show the tolerance Christ demonstrates to us, and change the world!

In our next blog post, let’s look at Matt’s blog post on the top popular non-Christian religions and philosophies vying for your attention.

Catch up: The introductory post to this series. Last week’s post: Showing Christ Relevant to Our Whatever Culture

Showing Christ Relevant to Our Whatever Culture

by Guest Blogger on 6 August, 2019

Welcome! Thanks for joining us for this, our latest post in our new year-long blog series we’re calling “Journey Together.” In this post, Josh shares nine ways he believes that Christians can show Christ relevant to non-believers in our modern “whatever” culture.

We can’t just claim, “Christ is truth” anymore, says Josh. We must provide historical evidence for the truthfulness of the Bible, but also share the deep and personal convictions we’ve gained through our committed walk with Christ.

Is Christ’s Truth Still Relevant? Yes!

Sadly, even inside the Church, most young people have bought into the secular idea that there is no absolute truth. But God’s standard of truth has not changed. What has changed is our tolerance for “situational” truth.

Yet when “truth” is based on situation, is it really truth? Vegetarians, for example, believe their “truth” that it’s wrong to kill animals for food. Nudists believe their “truth” that clothes are a hindrance. And scammers believe their “truth” that it’s perfectly acceptable to steal what belongs to another. Each defend their position, based on the “truth” of their subjective value system.

Tolerance used to mean respectfully acknowledging other viewpoints while not endorsing them. Now tolerance is defined as needing to respect all values, beliefs, and lifestyles as equal and valid — supposedly because there’s no “intelligent” way to discern which option is the best.

We conveniently push God’s absolute truth aside, viewing it to be old-fashioned and not applicable to a modern world. Or we decide there is no God.

But if there is no set truth, Josh reminds us, there are no answers. And if there are no answers, there are only questions. “People say, ‘I’m smart enough to create my own moral code,” says Josh. “But if we accept that norm, we justify even the actions of mass murderers.” Josh wisely notes that “truth” is not truth just because we believe it is.

Christians today are tasked with showing Christ relevant to a world that views Him as just one more option. How can we do so? Let’s look at Josh’s 9-step action plan.

Josh’s Nine Steps for Showing Christ Relevant to the World

Step 1: Create Community

Our society is full of broken people from broken homes suffering the fallout of dysfunctional relationships. How do today’s youth view success? One of the top rankings is a happy home life. People want to experience real love. You and I are to commit to loving so fiercely that people take note and wonder, “How is this possible?” We will sometimes fail  — but even in messy brokenness we can point to our source: Christ. Invite people into your life. See them as God sees them: as worthy and loved and cherished.

Step 2: Demonstrate Christ-like Compassion

Josh reminds us that it is only when we are convinced that another cares about us that we allow them to have influence in our life. Our churches should be known for their outreach ministries — but you and I need to be the ones signing up to participate to give these ministries life. We also need to minister in our personal lives. Are we good neighbors? Are we good friends? Are we willing to help a stranger, just for the opportunity to be like Christ? Ask God to help you live selflessly like Jesus.

Step 3: Context Truth Relationally

Bottom line: we must live out the truth of Christ through loving relationships. Do we allow others to take up our time when they need a helping hand or shoulder to cry on? Or do we live conditionally, only “serving” when we feel like it or because we think we’ll benefit? If you and I are to have the honor of showing Christ relevant in other people’s lives, we must do from a position of authentic relationship. We can build trust with people through grand gestures, but we build real intimacy by showing up, again and again, over time.

Step 4: Creatively Communicate Your Personal Testimony

Nothing will have more impact on showing Christ relevant to others than our effectively sharing our testimony. Can you confidently share ways that Christ has/is making a difference in your life? “Some people try to tell me they don’t have a testimony,” says Josh, “but I say, ‘Yes you do! You’re just being lazy. Set aside time to identify how your life was before Christ, how you came to know Christ, and how He’s changed your life.'”

It is because Josh has put in so many hours thinking about concrete examples to answer these questions that his personal testimony rings with authenticity and power. Because Josh KNOWS how Christ is relevant in his life, he is ever ready to share his testimony when asked. You and I should be just as prepared and hopeful at getting the chance to share ours. Start with this post about answering questions about Jesus.

Step 5: Demonstrate Caring Relationships

In our high-tech world, people crave caring relationships. As Josh puts it, “High tech calls for high touch.” The Church has the unique opportunity to meet this craving through loving community. But, again, entering a church can be an intimidating experience — especially for a non-believer who assumes s/he will be outed for not know when to sit, stand, pass the offering bucket, or even which book in the pew is the Bible.

People! We need to make sure we’re making it easy and comfortable for anyone to kick the tires of a church. That doesn’t mean we soften the message of our need for a Savior. It means we lead with caring. So the next time you go to church, don’t just say hi to the people you already know. Say hi to at least five people — especially those who look a bit anxious. Your friendly gesture of inclusion may be the single reason they decide to come back.

Step 6: Be Christ’s Love

It’s no big deal to love the lovable. But we enter a whole different ballgame when we show grace and patience and kindness to people who aren’t. The world is watching how you and I respond to the rude grocery cashier or jerky driver who just cut us off. The world is watching how we treat the homeless, convicts, and the adulterer next door that the neighborhood is having a field day gossiping about. “It’s loving the unlovable that will reach people’s hearts and minds to consider Jesus as the source of true love,” says Josh. “That’s the supernatural truth about the Christian faith.”

Beth Moore’s story about brushing a stranger’s hair in the airport always strikes me as the perfect example of showing Christ’s love. As Beth says, “When we are filled to the measure with the fullness of Christ, you cannot believe the needs we can meet. We can do what we know we can’t.” When we allow Him to, God can do through us what we simply can’t do on our own.

Step 7: Demonstrate Conspicuous Christ-like Marriage and Family

There can be no argument that America’s acceptance of easy divorce has severely handicapped the stability of the family unit. Why work hard on something that is just so much easier to leave behind? Kids suffer from the decisions of their parents on so many levels.

Today, most kids truly don’t know what the word “committed” really means. They throw away their water bottles, their barely used clothing, their gadgets — and their friends, when convenient. Because it’s the model they’ve been shown to follow. But you and I can make a difference by giving power and purpose to the word “committed.” We can demonstrate humility and selflessness and generosity. We can demonstrate sticking to hard stuff because it’s the right thing to do. We can demonstrate love. We can demonstrate the joy of living within God’s boundaries. “What has opened more doors for me to impact culture,” shares Josh, “has to do with the love I demonstrate for my wife and children.”

Step 8: Develop Credible Convictions

Before you and I can share our faith or testimony, we have to put in the work of growing the convictions we hold. As Josh mentioned above, some Christians have gotten lazy. To them, Christianity is a passive relationship, not an active, living/breathing relationship that gives their life peace and clarity and power. Some Christians have never even read the Bible!! People, how can we get in the game, if we don’t know the coach or the play book??

Here Josh gets very direct: If someone asks you why you take the truth of Christ at His word, and your reply is, “Because that’s what I was taught,” you prove the weakness of the foundation for your faith. Two other “dumb answers,” says Josh, are “Because I believe it” and “Because I have faith.” Ouch. But he’s right. Muslims have belief and faith. So do Mormons and Hindus and Buddhists and the New Age crowd. So how is your faith in Christ any different? “Faith,” says Josh, “doesn’t make something true.”

It’s a problem when the Church teaches a belief system without conviction. A conviction, explains Josh, is not just what you believe, but why you believe it, and how you’ve experienced it in your own life. Take the phrase, “Jesus saves.” In your own life, what does that mean? How has God showed you that 1) you matter to Him, that 2) He is changing you, and 3) That you can trust Him. Are you convinced, for example, that God is good, even when you don’t get what you want? The conviction that God is good, all the time, can only take root in our lives when we let go of how we think God should show up, and take Him at His word that He has a good plan for our life.

Step 9: Congregate Where People Are

Jesus didn’t check into a hotel in each town and tell the crowds to grab a number to visit with Him. What Jesus did do was make Himself accessible. He risked hanging with people that the religious leaders viewed so beneath them that interacting with them would soil both their fine clothing and their souls. But what they should have done, says Josh, is “throw the pearls, and let God decide who is swine.”

The point is to not set ourselves up as better than others, and to seek to create relationship with anyone needing God — even those that society disrespects or ridicules. Do you volunteer at church as a teacher or greeter? Have you served at a homeless shelter or food bank? Have you delivered meals to a shut-in? Have you participated in a prison ministry or a home for unwed mothers? Jesus loved loving on “sinners” because He felt compassion for the hurting. He was always on mission to draw them into loving relationship wth God.

Christ is extraordinarily relevant. We just have to get out there and show this truth to the world. God, alone, does the drawing of people to Him, so don’t feel like you have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Just keep to your lane — being a conduit He can use — and God will do what only God can do. 😉

In our next blog post, let’s look more at tolerance, and how society has derailed its traditional definition.

Catch up: The introductory post to this series.

Choosing God’s Boundaries Because We Trust Him

by Guest Blogger on 25 July, 2019

Welcome! Thanks for joining us for this, the latest post in our year-long blog series we’re calling “Journey Together.” Let’s talk about boundaries, which we need to make good, ethical choices. On what should we base the boundaries we establish in our life?

As we mentioned in a recent post, it’s not enough to base our morality on the Ten Commandments or other boundaries mentioned in the Bible. That’s because it’s not the rules themselves that create lasting change in us, but our relationship with their source, God.

Josh McDowell has recorded many videos on the topic of making right moral choices, which you can watch here. In this post, let’s look at two analogies Josh mentions in those videos, to better understand that God’s boundaries are good, not punitive.

The Source of the Precepts and Principles

As Josh reminds us, biblical boundaries are ONLY important because of the source of their moral authority. Skeptics argue that the Bible is “man-made,” but they’re wrong. The Bible is “God-breathed,” dictating a high ethical standard that humanity struggles to mirror. Even on our best days we screw up. A little gossip here, a little envy there, a slip of judgment here, a whole lot of unloving everywhere.

God’s boundaries aren’t about His ego, but our best life. As Josh masterfully explains in his videos, within every biblical precept — every “Thou Shalt Not!!” — is a moral principle based on the person and character and nature of God. Let’s look at two examples, so we understand what Josh means.

Example #1: The moral principal of honesty undergirds the precept “Thou Shalt Not Lie.” But the reason that lying is morally wrong is because God and Jesus are TRUTH.

Example #2: The moral principal of respecting the sanctity of life undergirds the precept “Thou Shalt Not Kill.” But the reason that killing is morally wrong is because God and Jesus are LIFE.

Likewise, we are to seek justice because God and Jesus are JUST. We are to seek purity because God and Jesus are PURE. We are to reject hate because God and Jesus are LOVE.

In a nutshell, any choice we can make that is contrary to God’s nature is morally wrong. God doesn’t tell us how to think and act to bend us to His will. Rather, He lovingly created guidelines for our protection and provision.

Let’s use the umbrella in the photo above to symbolize the protection of God’s guidelines.

When we follow God’s rules, we stay dry. But when we willfully choose to walk — or run! — into the rain, we wind up with wet clothes, if not pneumonia. “It’s always an act of love on God’s part to protect us and provide for us,” says Josh. “But when, through an act of disobedience by a decision of our own will we ignore God’s precepts, we remove ourselves from the very protection and provision of those precepts.”

An analogy Josh shares further drives this point home:

Two teenagers, bored on a hot, summer night, remember that a neighbor has a backyard pool. They also remember that the neighbors are on vacation. They decide to sneak over to enjoy a refreshing swim. They giggle as they clammer over the tall backyard fence, willfully ignoring the posted “No Trespassing!” and “No swimming!” signs.

The girl cautiously makes her way across the unlit backyard as her boyfriend races to the diving board. With one hard bounce, he catapults his body high into the air. The girl’s laugh turns to a shriek as she reaches the pool’s edge and realizes there is no water in the pool. The impact of the boy’s dive snaps his neck, instantly paralyzing him.

The homeowners didn’t post the warnings to take fun from the boy’s life, but to protect him. In choosing to disregard the posted warnings, he moved himself into danger.

God’s Tall Ladder Perspective

Like this young man, we often don’t see the looming dangers. Or we minimize the consequences of stepping into sin. “How much can it hurt?” we ask ourselves. Unfortunately, you and I have a very limited perspective. God, on the other hand, sees every possible scenario — and their resulting joys and sorrows.

Have you ever entered one of those corn mazes? (The kind that stresses me out because I’m claustrophobic AND a control freak?!) At every junction you ask, “Should I turn right? Or left, perhaps?” And with every wrong turn and dead-end, you get more confused about where you are in the maze, and the location of the correct path leading to the exit. If you only had a birds-eye view!

If you had a guide — a trustworthy source — perched atop a really high ladder, you’d have help in making the right choices to successfully navigate the maze. In life we can consistently make right choices, and enjoy much good in life, by following God’s guidelines and boundaries.

God: “Do you believe that I love you and want to bless you with provision and protection? Then commit to my boundaries. They are for your good, because I am good.”

From His eternal perspective, God does life with us, asking, “Want to avoid heartache? Follow my precepts; don’t deviate. Want to avoid that addiction? Follow my precepts; don’t deviate. Want to be successful in business? Follow my precepts; don’t deviate. Want to experience true, meaningful love? Follow my precepts; don’t deviate.”

But sometimes we get it into our heads that we know better than God. So we make willful choices outside of His boundaries, and must then suffer the consequences.

Spend some time reflecting on your life, and how choosing to live within God’s boundaries has protected you. But also look at the times you willfully stepped beyond His umbrella of protection and had to endure the fallout. Here’s the thing about sin: the repercussions aren’t always immediately evident. Sometimes we think we’ve gotten away with it. But sin eventually demands our payment.

“Unless we each come to understand that ‘God loves me’ and ‘I can trust Him,'” adds Josh, “we will never walk through life dependent on the character of God to make right choices.”

In our next blog post, let’s look further at the topic of actual truth, and how to identify it.

Catch up: The introductory post to this series.

Can We Know Absolute Right From Wrong?

by Guest Blogger on 11 July, 2019

Welcome! Thanks for joining us for this, our latest post in this year-long blog series we’re calling “Journey Together.” In this post we ask a HUGE question that many believe impossible to answer: “Can we know absolute right from wrong?”

Let’s cut to the chase on answering this, as we look at the 3-point checklist Josh McDowell uses for making sound moral choices.

If It’s Legal, It’s Moral…Right?

If you were to vote on whether absolute truth is knowable, would you cast your vote as yay or nay?

Chances are high you’d vote nay, as our increasingly secular society has been quite successful in selling us on the fallacy that truth is entirely subjective. “My truth is my truth, and your truth is your truth.” But can you and I really base truth on subjective preference? Can our society, as a whole, do so and manage to survive?

Josh, in his video on discerning right from wrong, states, “Legality has nothing to do with morality.” This is a critical point, people! Because if morality is determined by what is legal, does that mean that when the law changes, morality also changes? Is morality really that fluid?

In an online article titled “Is God really good?” the writer reminds us that “God is the author of logic and truth, so God’s Word should be high on the priority list when analyzing anything critically. In fact, without the biblical God, there is no logical basis for using the laws of logic, which flow from His nature.”

Adds the writer, if there is no absolute standard of morality, everyone would do what his own collection of atoms in his brain told him to do — be it murdering someone who got in his way, or taking food from someone who had more than he did.

But it’s this line in the article that sums up why we, ourselves, can’t be the absolute standard for morality: “Why would the collection of atoms that compose my brain be any better at determining what is ‘right’ than the next person’s?”

Aligning Our Morals With God

Yet society does push that “right” and “wrong” is entirely subjective! That only an old-fashioned fool would hold to a one-size-fits-all moral code. But this isn’t true. And deep down we all know it. We know when we’re choosing sin but justifying it. God tells us in His Word that He creates us with this soul knowledge.

Listen, it doesn’t matter what our parents or pastor taught us. Our moral code isn’t “right” because it reflects our family values. It’s not right because it “feels” right to us. It’s not right because it follows the majority view. And it’s certainly not right because an authority figure (or government) condones or enforces it.

Our moral code is correct only when it aligns with God’s person and character. We can’t pin our moral code on what our college professors think, what our friends think, what our parents think, or even what our pastors think. Only what God says.

Josh’s Three Steps for Making Moral Choices God’s Way

Josh notes that God is just, righteous, and pure—because each of these aspects reflect His character. If we profess to follow Jesus, our personal moral code should reflect our commitment to reflect Him, not our selfish desires. We are called to get past our innate selfishness and align our moral choices with God’s standard of absolute right.

Josh’s three steps:

1. Accept that only God has the authority to define absolute right and wrong.

2. Compare the choice you’re making to God’s standard. Do they align? Or are you twisting Scripture, or taking it out of context, to affirm the choice you want to make?

3. Count on God’s blessings when you choose His righteousness. Now, the immediate return on our doing right may initially lead to negative consequences — we might lose friends, family, or even our career. But in the long run, God promises us His grace, protection, and provision when we align our lifestyle with His standard.

We’re not being “progressive“ or “enlightened” when we base our morality on a standard other than God’s. We’re choosing to disregard the Creator who loves us more than life itself. It’s that simple.

In our next blog post, let’s look further at why God, not society or people, should be our standard.

Catch up: The introductory post to this series.

God: Our Relevant Father

by Guest Blogger on 6 May, 2019

Welcome! Thanks for joining us for this, our 16th post in our new year-long blog series we’re calling “Journey Together.” In this post we reflect on the relevance of our loving Father.

A Father’s Presence Matters

Many people would agree that Will Smith made his career through his great performance in the old TV show Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, a sitcom in which Will plays a fictionalized younger version of himself as a poor boy from Philadelphia who moved in with his rich aunt and uncle in Bel-Air.

Many also would say that Will’s greatest performance in Fresh Prince was that poignant father scene. If you viewed that scene, you know what I’m talking about. In that episode, Will’s biological father pays him a visit after abandoning the family 14 years earlier. He promises to take Will on a nice father-son trip — but cancels at the last minute.

Will is heartbroken, though he manages to hold himself together as he watches his father walk out the door — and out of his life. He tries to shake off the pain with the help of his sympathetic uncle, but the pressure on his heart expresses itself first in raging anger, then tears. “How come he don’t want me, man?” asks Will as his uncle pulls him into a tight bear hug and they cry together. The typically funny sitcom dove into the painful.

This certainly isn’t the only tv/film scene featuring an emotionally gripping “father moment.” How many movies can you think of where the protagonist has a tenuous relationship with his or her father? The darkest moment in these films tends to be when the father rejects his son or daughter. And the brightest moment is when the father returns and restores the relationship.

Fathers. Their existence (or non-existence) in our lives burrows deep, affecting our very soul. Those of us who grew up with absent fathers often struggle with belonging. Those who grew up with abusive fathers often struggle with passivity. Those who grew up with unloving fathers often struggle with acceptance. These are all overly-simplistic generalizations, but fathers matter. We can all attest to the truth of this statement, based on our own personal experience. A father is critically relevant to a child.

God: Our Good, Good Father

It isn’t an accident that God calls Himself our Father. He presents Himself to us in the most tender way, holding us in love from that deep place in our soul. He is never an absent father. He is never an abusive father. He is never an unloving father. God is the father who sees us, knows us, and understands us. He loves our personalities and desires to be us with. Let’s be honest: our hearts cry out for this full acceptance. God is so relevant to our life!

I don’t mean to suggest that our Heavenly Father makes our earthly father irrelevant or unimportant. Or that God is the instant cure-all for any father wounds we experience as we grow up. My point is that the relationship God offers to each of us goes deep, to our very core. It’s not superficial, conditional, or fleeting. It can meet the needs of every person, in every culture, because God completely knows us.

God is with us when no one else is. He loves us when no one else does. He makes Himself present in our lives and in the lives of our fellow brothers and sisters as we gather together. We don’t need to have our act together before coming to God. I’m telling you: the God of this universe is a good Father!

Right here, right now, and in Heaven, where we’ll be with Him in person. Heaven, by the way, is not about strumming on a harp, or enjoying a bunch of virgins, or even governing our own planet. It’s not about escaping desire, or becoming part of the cosmos, or enjoying an endless all-we-can-eat ice cream buffet without bellyache.

Heaven is about our one-on-one relationship with God! Revelation 21:4 says that In Heaven every tear will be wiped from our eyes. That’s beautiful, but not the real beauty of Heaven. The real beauty of Heaven is that He will be the one wiping away our tears!

“How come he don’t want me, man?” isn’t a question we can ever ask about God. He wants us fiercely, wholly, and unconditionally. Let’s run to that love! Oh, that our entire world would long for and come to know our amazing, utterly relevant Father.

View or download Josh’s The Father Factor, 25 years of compiled research documenting the impact fathers have on their families.

In our next blog post, let’s look more at how our self-image is affected by our relationships.

Catch up: The introductory post to this series.

Five Misconceptions of Christians

by Guest Blogger on 28 February, 2019

Welcome! Thanks for joining us for this, the sixth post in our new year-long blog series we’re calling “Journey Together.” In this post let’s talk about how Christians are viewed by society — often through a distorted lens.

One of the craziest ironies of our time is this: The overload of information being pumped into our heads has resulted in so much illiteracy about our world. We are bombarded with so much information that it becomes difficult to separate fact from fiction. It has become way too easy to develop fantasies about the world we live in. This is especially troubling when these fantasies involve our fellow human beings.

Most of us realize that the media generally picks stories that jab cultural pressure points — and milks those stories to produce maximum click-bait impact. Just look at social media to see how much misinformation is tossed about as “truth” — and how angry people are getting because they lazily accept it as such. It’s just so much easier to instantly get mad and offended, right?

It has, indeed, become very difficult to view and understand each other, with both sides choosing to broadcast stories that represent the most extreme aspects of their “enemies.” Christianity, which really bothers some people, has long been skewed as a negative, if not freaky, social construct by society.

“Well, you Christians don’t like this, and you demand that, and you’re so judgmental about this, and you want to force me to do that….” When I hear non-Christians say these things, I sometimes ask what formed their viewpoint. Too often, it’s simply what they heard from society. Or it’s based on their experience with a single Christian.

In view of that, I’d like to offer a short list of broad misconceptions that some people have about Christians — which are simply untrue.

1. Christians Disagree About Everything…Right?

Definite misconception! Christians do not disagree about everything.

We agree that Jesus is the Son of God, and died on the cross and resurrected so that we could believe and be saved. We agree that God calls us to love our neighbor. We agree that humankind is inherently sinful without the grace of God, and that God loves us anyway. We agree that truth matters. We agree that the gospel of Jesus is Good News to this world. We agree that the Holy Spirit is with us, and that God has spoken truth to us through His words in Scripture. These core beliefs have carried on through the generations since Christianity first began.

That isn’t to say that things don’t get messy. We are, after all, human. There are plenty of theological disagreements to go around. But at the end of the day, most Christians recognize that the majority of disagreements needn’t divide us. We are still brothers and sisters, unified through Christ. Our unity is accomplished through the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 12:13, Ephesians 4:3-4). Though we have disagreements, we are a family. That’s not to say there aren’t some strange uncles and wayward cousins.

2. Christians Are Opposed to Science…Right?

Definite misconception! Most Christians highly value the contributions of Science!

There are some Christians who take a strong obscurantist approach toward science, but I have not personally met one. Most of science doesn’t address things that concern faith in Christ. The speed of light, the chemistry of ammonium, the size of our sun, or the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow have little to do with the Gospel message. Yet for some reason, it remains a popular notion that Christians are hostile to science.

Our concerns come into play when science is wielded to defend naturalism, the view that there is nothing supernatural and everything in our universe can be explained by natural causes. Science is just one resource for us to learn about the world.

Christians rarely take issue with the scientific method or the scientific enterprise. If anything, we are concerned with the theological and philosophical interpretations that sometimes originate in the laboratory.

3. Christians Are a Hate Group…Right?

Definite misconception! Committed Christians know hate has no place in their lives!

Talk about propaganda! This lie comes straight from Satan — and society, who loves to showcase specific Christians and church groups that decidedly do NOT represent the Church. Unfortunately, these people are the ones paraded on the headlines and distort we who are. They are a gross generalization of Christianity, not an accurate picture of committed Christ-followers.

I can honestly tell you that I do not know any of these “Christians.” The Christians I know, the ones who sit next to me in the pew of the churches I have been in, truly want to represent the love of Christ.

To be like Jesus, Christians have to wrestle with the question of how to hold truth and love together. We believe certain matters — such as sex, gender, and spirituality — to be true for the best interest of all people. But we believe that God has called us to present His truth in love.

We can’t realistically live in a constant state of feeling offended. But here’s the truth: We really can express disagreement with each other without devaluing each other. This is true even in matters of religion, sexuality, and gender. Our culture has simply forgotten how to extend this civility, which has crippled our ability to have effective conversations about the big issues facing us today. As a nation we’ve become so vested in being self-focused.

4. Christians Don’t Positively Contribute to Society…Right?

Definite misconception! So much of the good being done in the world is being done by Christians!

A great number of philanthropic organizations doing marvelous work around the world are Christian-based, fueled by Christian values, and funded by the generosity of middle-class Christians. Many other organizations are team efforts, with Christians and non-Christians coming together to share a common cause. (See They Were Christians: The Inspiring Faith of Men and Women Who Changed the World by Cristóbal Krusen.)

Modern Christians recognize that Christ calls us to care for His world and His people. We understand that Jesus identifies with the poor and marginalized (Matthew 25:31-46). We recognize the significance of the Gospel message, but we cannot divorce that from God’s heart for the hurting.

5. Christians Don’t Know How to Have Fun…Right?

Definite misconception! Perhaps we need to define “fun?”

We get it. We know we’re portrayed as boring and unhip and old-fashioned because we’re not out there “living it up” every weekend, getting drunk, having casual sex, etc. But that doesn’t make us boring. It means that we’re living to the standard Christ set for us. A standard designed to keep us from making unwise choices and adding a whole lot of unnecessary drama and pain to our lives.

Here’s the thing: before many of us became Christians, many of us did walk that path before someone introduced us to Christ. And our testimony is unanimous: That empty lifestyle didn’t fill us. We were still empty. As crazy as it sounds to non-Christians, God really does change us from the inside out.

Honestly, we’ve found ourselves learning that living for God is way better than living for ourselves. We have discovered that our friendships, marriages, and enjoyment of life have flourished because of our joy in knowing Him. And our privilege of introducing others to God is incredibly satisfying. I’m telling you, nothing is more exciting!

If you want to know what Christianity is really all about, slip into a Bible-based church and listen to some sermons. Read through the numerous, fact-filled blog posts on our site. Read the Bible. And find some committed Christ-followers to engage in conversation. Committed Christ-followers aren’t perfect….we mess up all the time….but our hearts and our eyes are on Jesus, the greatest role model we could possibly follow.

In our next blog post, let’s look even deeper at what it means to be a committed Christ-follower! Can our life have meaningful purpose? You bet!

Catch up: The introductory post to this series.

Transformation Process: See Yourself as God Sees You

by Sheri Bell on 5 July, 2017

Ladies, in this, the eighth blog post in our series exploring our true identity, let’s look at the topic of transformation. God uses other believers to help us to transform our self-image, so that we are able to see ourselves as God sees us. #fullyloved #fullyforgiven #fullyunderstood

In 2 Corinthians 5:17 the Bible tells us that we become a “new creation” when we accept Jesus as Lord. That verse can cause us to wonder if our conversion stuck, if we find ourselves still doing some of the things we did before we accepted Christ. How, we ask, our heads hanging in guilt and shame, can we be “new,” if we’re still doing the “old”?

We have to understand that our becoming like Jesus is a life-long process.

Although the Holy Spirit instantly begins to stir within us, we’re still “us.” Getting saved doesn’t instantly remove our bad habits and stinkin’ thinking. We slowly change as we allow God to work within us.

So if I’m in the habit of lying to others, I don’t instantly become someone who can be counted on to be truthful. If you view yourself as “damaged goods,” you won’t instantly view yourself as healthy and whole. If you know a friend who struggles with feeling worthy of God’s grace, she will continue to struggle until she chooses to walk confidently in God’s unconditional love. Ladies, our transformation requires that will be willing participants with Him.

One way that God works to transform us into His image is through other people. The story of Lazarus, found in the New Testament book of John, wonderfully illustrates how God uses people to accomplish the transformative process.

With a Little Help From Our Friends

When Jesus approached the tomb of his dead friend Lazarus, He cried out, “Lazarus, come out!” At His command, the man who had been dead for four days gained new life. As the amazed crowd looked on, Lazarus hobbled out of the tomb, wrapped like a mummy in his linen burial shroud.

Notice that the graveclothes did not fall off of Lazarus the moment Christ called him out.

Jesus could have chosen to have Lazarus bust out of his graveclothes in a dazzling display of power like the Incredible Hulk. But He didn’t. He chose to involve Lazarus’s friends and family in the transformation process by saying: “Unwrap him and let him go!”

When we become Christians, Christ gives us new life. “Step into the new life I have prepared for you!” He cries. But, like Lazarus, we emerge from the tomb of our past shrouded in — and constricted by — our graveclothes. We need help in casting them aside to walk into our new life.

To transform our sense of identity, we must surround ourselves with people who trust that God is doing a new work in us. Transformational environments include people who mirror the love and acceptance God holds for us.

Transformation Through Environment

What does an ideal transformational environment look like?

A transformational environment includes people who model the truth about who you are in Christ.

You need to spend quality time with people who clearly see that they are loved, valuable, and useful to God and others. People who are confident in who they are in Christ radiate an intimate relationship with God and genuinely enjoy serving Him. They help you to desire both, as well.

A transformational environment uses scripture to clearly teach the truth about our identity in Christ.

We read, memorize, and meditate on the Bible primarily to get in touch with God’s heart. The more we know God’s heart, the more clearly we see that we are lovable, valuable, and competent in His eyes. The Bible is the basis of our Christian walk; every word is God’s truth to us.

A transformational environment provides a context of loving, intimate relationships that mirror God’s love for us.

As we see others act with open-hearted generosity, we learn to give ourselves away. When we see others forgive each other, we learn to forgive like Christ. As others model selflessness for us, we learn the joy of serving the way Christ served others. In transformational environments, we are buoyed, but we also buoy others. As a pastor perfectly put it in one Sunday sermon: “Some days I have faith, and you do not. Other days I lack faith, and I need some of yours.”

A note about churches: don’t expect them to be perfect. Churches are full of messy people, like you and me. But some churches love to wallow in the burial clothes, rather than tossing them off. If your church chooses to focus on condemnation rather than restitution, run to find one that presses into God’s amazing offer of new life through Him.

Step out of the grave and into God’s grace! You are redeemed, you are forgiven, you are sealed in Christ with the Holy Spirit. Remember that you are God’s workmanship, you are a member of Christ’s body, you are Christ’s friend. You may approach God with boldness, freedom, and confidence!

Our 12-Week Journey About Our True Personal Identity!

Part of rightly understanding our true personal identity requires that we know how God sees us. As our loving creator, God says two things to us: “You are my child,” and “You are chosen.” Do you sense God’s heart toward you? Can you wrap you mind around the truth that God was thinking about you before He even created the world?

Let that truth sink into the depth of your heart and mind. It may take a lot of determination on your part, but as you begin to realize just how valuable you are in God’s eyes, you will be able to break the chains that keep you from accepting and loving yourself. Ladies, we CAN drop the burden of what other people think—and the judgments we hold for ourselves!

During this 12-week blog series, we’ll post about personal identity. Each post will include a song to remind us of the truth of how God sees us. Our song this week is God is on the Move by 7eventh Time Down. 7eventh Time Down has it exactly right: God is on the move in many mighty ways in our lives today!! Accept this truth to experience the true joy of being YOU!

This blog series is based on Josh’s book See Yourself as God Sees You. It is our prayer that during this series you come to recognize and accept your true personal identity! God couldn’t love you more!

Buy the Book!

Lovable, Valuable, Competent: See Yourself as God Sees You

by JMM Team on 28 June, 2017

Ladies, God says our “Do” is NOT our “Who”! Hallelujah! No matter our actions, God says we’re fully lovable, valuable, and competent!

In this, the seventh blog post in our series exploring our true identity, let’s look at why some Christians are unable to make progress in their Christian walk.

Take Susan, for example. Susan was involved in full-time Christian ministry, but found it nearly impossible to carry on her work. Paralyzed by a deep sense of unworthiness, Susan felt out of place in a Christian organization. Why? She was convinced she would be fired if her co-workers found out about her past.

Before becoming a Christian, you see, Susan had had numerous affairs, and even an abortion. Though her behavior had changed dramatically since accepting Christ, Susan’s inner portrait had not changed. God had forgiven and redeemed her, but Susan still saw herself as morally bankrupt. Unworthy. Shameful. Incompetent. Unlovable.

Susan didn’t trust in God’s grace, so she trusted even less that she would receive grace from her co-workers. Because she choose to hold onto her shame, Susan was unable to bask in the gift of God’s redemption and acceptance.

Susan needs to wrap her head around this TRUTH: God accepts our messes, and uses them to help others! The past that Susan is so afraid may come to light, is likely the very testimony God wants to use in her life now! #wow

God Wants to Renovate Us

Sadly, Susan isn’t alone in her self-bondage. Many people turn to Jesus, knowing they want and need His unconditional love and grace. Yet they can’t quite make themselves believe that they deserve it. They try praying more, serving more, and reading their Bible more, but still feel defeated and discouraged.

Here’s why: If we refuse to see ourselves as God sees us, we will continue to try to “earn” our relationship with Jesus.

Think of your Christian walk like a renovation project. God is working on your old crumbling foundation, tired wallpaper, stained carpets, and mildewed walls. But if you fight God on the process — by not believing that He loves you and has planned good things for you — your renovation will only limp along.

Think of the Israelites in the desert. They turned what could have been a very short journey into 40 years of wandering. Stubborn bunch! I don’t know about you, but I sure want to give God access to move in my life much, much, faster!

Oh, our exteriors might look great, because WE have prettied them up by our own efforts. But the insides of our houses remain dark and dank, because we’ve not allowed Christ to turn on the floor lamps He has already plugged in. It’s like we’ve been given all the electricity we’ll ever need, but we refuse to flip the switch on the circuit breaker!

Have you been here? Are you here now? Holding God at arm’s length because YOU have decided that you’re not yet good enough…clean enough…worthy enough to believe in and trust the Creator of the Universe when he says, “COME! YOU ARE ENOUGH, RIGHT NOW, AS YOU ARE!!”

Ladies, God will spend every day of our lives partnering with us to make us more like Him — but we have to allow Him access. God never forces our relationship. How it must break His heart to have us so near, and yet watch us struggle to keep Him at arm’s length. Sometimes I actually get a mental picture of God wanting to wrap me in an amazing bear hug, but I’m too busy bobbing and ducking.

If we continue to refuse to see ourselves as God see us, our shaky foundations will render our attempts at Christian growth ineffective. We must remember that our “do” never determines our “who” in God’s eyes.

Ladies, we have to stop holding on to personal identities that we base on what we’ve done in the past. Can you do it? Susan did! #yay #letgoletGod

Three Truths That Quicken the Renovation Process

What three UNSHAKEABLE truths should make up the foundation of our true identity in Christ?

Truth #1: YOU are LOVABLE.

You may have grown up feeling ignored, unwanted, despised, or even hated. The people who communicated these messages to you were wrong. God’s Word says that He lovingly made YOU and that you are eternally lovable.

Last week, when I talked about the comparison trap, I shared that we often sink into depression when we rank ourselves as lacking or less than, when compared to others. The Good News: God says that YOU are uniquely gifted, uniquely purposed, a one-of-a-kind creation that He birthed for good plans and good purposes. Only YOU can do the things He has in mind for you!

God doesn’t say, “I will love you when….” God says, “I LOVE YOU NOW, JUST AS YOU ARE!”

If, like me, you grew up in a household in which you got the message that you were not enough and not wanted, know that you CAN throw off that pain and shame by stepping fully into the lovelight of Jesus. You can claim, “God says it and I believe it!” — or you can continue (as I did for years), to walk around hurting — and hurting other people. Ladies, your negative thoughts and feelings are not truthful. But God’s Word is.

Truth #2. YOU are VALUABLE.

Think you’re not valuable? Well, then, how do you explain the fact that the Creator of the Universe came to earth in human form and willingly suffered excruciating pain and humiliation to redeem your sin? So that NOTHING would ever be able to separate YOU from His grace and love!!

God sees every part of you — every thought you’ve ever had and ever will, every action you’ve ever made and ever will — and says, “I SEE YOU AS REDEEMED!”

God wants a relationship with YOU. Ladies, we must get this truth deep into our souls, and into our heads: Even if YOU were the ONLY person that Christ needed to die for, He would have done it. YOU are worth His sacrifice. He loves you that much! If God views you that valuable, you do Him and yourself a disservice by allowing any human to tell you otherwise. God’s opinion of you is the only one that matters. Because it’s the only correct opinion.

Truth #3: YOU are COMPETENT.

If you see yourself negatively — perhaps as lazy, or dumb, unreliable, or untalented — you don’t have to stay there! God’s Word says that GOD TRUSTS YOU enough that to handle the tasks of eternal proportion that He planned upon your birth.

We’ve all screwed up. We will continue to screw up. Because we’re human. But our “who” is truly not our “do” in God’s eyes. Ladies, please believe this. Don’t allow the devil to keep whispering in your ear that you’re a big mess and you should just give up on yourself and God. God’s specialty: taking our messes and turning them into messages that testify to God’s amazing grace and goodness!

You are already lovable, already valuable, already competent. GOD THINKS YOU ROCK!

God is waiting for the day that you, like Susan, choose to start believing in the truth of how He views YOU!

Our 12-Week Journey About Our True Personal Identity!

Part of rightly understanding our true personal identity requires that we know how God sees us. As our loving creator, God says two things to us: “You are my child,” and “You are chosen.” Do you sense God’s heart toward you? Can you wrap you mind around the truth that God was thinking about you before He even created the world?

Let that truth sink into the depth of your heart and mind. It may take a lot of determination on your part, but as you begin to realize just how valuable you are in God’s eyes, you will be able to break the chains that keep you from accepting and loving yourself. Ladies, we CAN drop the burden of what other people think—and the judgments we hold for ourselves!

During this 12-week blog series, we’ll post about personal identity. Each post will include a song to remind us of the truth of how God sees us. Our song this week is Priceless by King & Country. King & Country has it exactly right: I see you dressed in white! Every wrong made right! Irreplaceable! Unmistakable! Incomparable! Priceless! Accept this truth to experience the true joy of being YOU!

This blog series is based on Josh’s book See Yourself as God Sees You. It is our prayer that during this series you come to recognize and accept your true personal identity! God couldn’t love you more!

Buy the Book!

Pesky Feelings: See Yourself as God Sees You

by Sheri Bell on 21 June, 2017

Ladies, in this, the sixth blog post in our series exploring our true identity, I want to touch on a REALLY touchy topic: our feelings. Oh, how much trouble these pesky critters cause us! (And, don’t worry if you’re a guy reading this … Josh says he deals with it as a guy too!)

Trust me, I know first-hand that some of us are genetically hardwired for sensitivity; that some of us feel everything so deeply that even sappy commercials (one of my favorites) send us running for Kleenex.

But ladies, it’s important to remember that God tells us to take our emotions captive—to stop our “Stinking Thinking“—when our thoughts and feelings spiral us into darkness.

Have you, like me, gone after a job—or two, or three—and didn’t land it? Have you ever hoped to make a team, earn an award, slide into a relationship—but were ignored or rejected? It hurts, right? And when we’re hurting it can be a challenge to then believe in our self-worth and value.

What areas of your life tend to spiral your feelings into the muck?

Maybe it’s how you view your body.

Or your job.

Or your love life.

Or the number of zeros in your bank account.

I’ll be real with you and admit that my thoughts can go dark fast when I compare myself to others.

Ain’t Nothing Good About Comparison!

“If I were that pretty, I’d have a wonderful boyfriend, too.”  

“If I were better at networking, I’d have her job.”

“If I were funny like her, I’d get invited to the cool parties, too.”

“If I were sweet like her, they’d love me more.”

When my friend Mindy recently tried on a swimsuit in a department store dressing room, she told me that got “real grumpy” that it was perfectly obvious that no one would mistake her anytime soon for being Elle Macpherson‘s body double. Then, when Mindy later made the “mistake” of watching yet another sappy Hallmark movie, she got even grumpier.

“I want Elle’s body!” she cried. “I want Prince Charming, too!” 

Mindy admitted that on some days she gets downright jelly of gals with perfect bodies and seemingly perfect “plus-ones.” Does that make Mindy shallow? No. It makes her normal, given the influences in our secular world. But Mindy’s coveting of what she does not have places her in bondage, which is never God’s plan for her.

Ladies, we truly need to believe, as God says in His word, that we each—despite our self-perceived flaws and lacking—have tremendous value simply because He created us and loves us.

We can’t let our joy and satisfaction in life be determined by our appearance, our marital status, or any other competitive benchmark we set for ourselves.

God did NOT put us on this planet to be constantly comparing ourselves to others. He put us here to partner with Him to become our UNIQUE, best selves. We are one-of-a-kind creations, Ladies, and we have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to put our unique gifts and talents to good use every single day that He gives us breath.

Alas, we’re all so skilled at playing the comparison game that it can become our default. Why? Because we’ve been practicing the game for a loooooooooooong time. Probably at least since kindergarten, when societal conditioning begins to seriously mess with our heads, confusing us as to who—and whose—we are. #daughtersoftheking

Ladies, we have to remember that what God tells us in His Word is trustworthy. But our feelings are NOT.

Feelings Ain’t Truth!

Here’s the skinny: our feelings are FICKLE! Which means there’s a HIGH chance they’re NOT one teensy weensy bit true, even on a good day when the sun is shining and birds are chirping overhead.

Feel yourself unloveable? The Bible tells us that God’s love for us is high, wide, deep, and unceasing.

Feel yourself unforgiven? The Bible tells us that God forgives us the nanosecond we ask. And then forgets our sin!

Feel yourself not accepted? The Bible tells us that God’s arms are EVER open, ready to wrap us in the most amazing love hug. God is working, daily, to bring us back to Him.

Feel yourself uglier than a toad? The Bible tells us that God, the creator of all, sees our true beauty. In His eyes, we shine!

These truths are one reason God tells us to plug our brains into His Word DAILY. To memorize its truth, so that we have scripture to fight back with when the devil perches on our shoulder to whisper lies into our ear. Beat it, liar!

God is ALWAYS for us, no matter what the devil would have us believe. God offers us understanding, grace, and unlimited second chances—which means we can cut ourselves some slack, too. The Bible tells us that we UNLEASH spiritual power when we speak God’s Word out loud. And that when we praise God our spirits can’t help but lift—even when our feelings nearly have us convinced that we’ve tumbled to rock bottom and can’t rise again.

~~In Psalm 42 this refrain is mentioned TWICE:

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.

~~Psalm 37 is one of my favorite scriptures to utter when I’m needing to put the brakes on my emotional rollercoaster. I particularly love the promise in verses 23 and 24:

The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand. 

Ladies, when your feelings try to get the best of you, correct your stinking thinking by choosing to believe this truth: no matter how badly we might feel about ourselves, God wants us to remind us of how valuable we are to Him.

I love how Christian writer Max Lucado describes God’s ceaseless affection for us:

God is for YOU. Not “may be,” not “has been,” not “was,” not “would be,” but “God is!” He is for you. Today. And this hour. At this minute. As you read this sentence. No need to wait in line or come back tomorrow. He is with you. He could not be closer than He is at this second. His loyalty won’t increase if you are better nor lessen if you are worse. HE IS FOR YOU.

The next time your feelings try to take you to a dark place, recite this truth out loud! Then head to your Bible to recite verses that speak to you of God’s constant care. Ladies, we must take our thoughts captive. We might feel like we’re alone, or unloved, but we never are. AMEN!!!

Our 12-Week Journey About Our True Personal Identity!

Part of rightly understanding our true personal identity requires that we know how God sees us. As our loving creator, God says two things to us: “You are my child,” and “You are chosen.” Do you sense God’s heart toward you? Can you wrap you mind around the truth that God was thinking about you before He even created the world?

Let that truth sink into the depth of your heart and mind. It may take a lot of determination on your part, but as you begin to realize just how valuable you are in God’s eyes, you will be able to break the chains that keep you from accepting and loving yourself. Ladies, we CAN drop the burden of what other people think—and the judgments we hold for ourselves!

During this 12-week blog series, we’ll post about personal identity. Each post will include a song to remind us of the truth of how God sees us. Our song this week is Just be Held by Casting Crowns. Casting Crowns has it exactly right: You’re not alone! God’s on the throne! Just be held! Accept this truth to experience the true joy of being YOU!

This blog series is based on Josh’s book See Yourself as God Sees You. It is our prayer that during this series you come to recognize and accept your true personal identity! God couldn’t love you more!

Buy the Book!

Societal Influences: See Yourself as God Sees You

by Sheri Bell on 14 June, 2017

Ladies, last week in our series exploring our true identity we talked about how our parent’s view of us seriously impacted our self-portrait as we grew up. This week, let’s look at three influences outside the home that may have amplified the negative messaging we heard at home—or, conversely, overrode the God-based confidence our parents tried to instill in us.

These influences are school, secular society, and church. School can be very challenging for a lot of kids. Cultural tolerance is becoming increasingly pervasive. And, sadly, not all Christians churches teach sound theology. Rather than empowering people to fully live in God’s amazing grace, they enslave people with the chains of performance-based salvation and legalism. 

Influences: Our School Experience

Kids can be decidedly cruel to each other. They have the innate ability of discovering and magnifying any tiny fault or blemish, and blowing it into a major issue. Every snub, every unkind remark, every joke you were the brunt of in school added another unsightly nick to your self-view, perhaps causing you to doubt your intrinsic self-value.

Why did what our classmates and teachers thought of us matter so much? 

My friend Terri wishes she’d had a completely different school experience. An introvert by nature, Terri hated the first day of school. But also the second day, and the third day—and any other day that offered up the slightest chance that she might be called upon to speak in class. When her teachers assigned an oral report, Terri was so anxious she could barely speak.

Terri’s fear? That her teachers and classmates would think her incredibly stupid. Where did she learn to have this expectation? From her mom, who often paraded what she thought were Terri’s inadequacies in front of Terri’s younger siblings.

Because of Terri’s assumption that others also saw her as incompetent, she was super sensitive to any teasing she received at school. As an adult, Terri still makes decisions based on how smart she thinks others think she is. When Terri feels that she can trust those around her, her natural abilities shine. But put her around loud extroverts, or people who have fancy titles or important jobs, and Terri loses all confidence. In effect, Terri’s view of her self-worth is constantly in motion.

Gals, it is only when we become confident in God’s unceasing affection, care, and value for us that we can stop allowing the barbs and opinions of others to cease wounding us. Are you there yet? Or might you still be limping, even at your twentieth high school reunion, from the arrows that your teachers and fellow students shot at you?

Influences: Our Secular Culture

In large part thanks to television—and now the web—it’s almost impossible to quiet the negative messaging that is trying to get inside our heads 24/7. Via the secular messaging that our media churns out through television, movies, music, publications, and the internet, we are being manipulated to conform to what our society says is “truth.” The lies of cultural tolerance entice us to not only disregard God’s truth, but to believe that God is a myth.

Only a generation or two ago, it was our family environment that formed our belief and value statements. Television programming used to shut off in the late evening, and the screen would turn to static. We weren’t bombarded with crappy programming like we are today, 24/7. And the Internet hadn’t been invented yet. So most youth grew up somewhat sheltered from immorality, pornography, violence, and secularism because to have access to them took some effort. Today, the media dumps all of it into our living rooms, family rooms, and bedrooms. It’s now a fight to keep those negative influences at bay.

Anything you want to expose yourself to—good and bad—is now accessible with a few clicks of the mouse. 

It’s super easy to accidentally step into chat rooms and web sites that entice us to participate in activities that we know don’t please God. Pornography has become a huge addiction not only in our society, but around the world.

Even in Christian homes where parents monitor TV and internet access, kids are strongly influenced by our secular culture. Most sitcoms, dramas, movies, and educational programs present a secular worldview. It is now typical to see couples jumping into bed on a first date, even in programming aimed at teenagers. Too, secular programming typically portrays parents as dimwits, and children as blatantly disrespecting authority.

Even most mainstream songs now contain lyrics that celebrate promiscuity, if not also devalue women. And social media creates pop icons out of people who do their best to be vulgar and anti-God.

Gals, many of us have accepted this secular viewpoint as “normal.” But we have to remember that the way culture sees us is miles apart from how God sees us. Our culture glorifies the opinionated loudmouths, the physically beautiful, the gifted athletes who can best dribble or swing a bat. We often regard people with the biggest salaries and biggest houses as “having it all.” But if they don’t know Jesus, they truly miss out.

What messages have you bought as “truth” as you’ve watched these people gain the world’s frenzied adoration? 

I think of my friend “Celeste” as I ask this. Now a twenty-eight-year-old accountant, Celeste has spent years being indoctrinated by the media. She watched cartoons by the hour as a child, sitcoms and dramas as a teen, and soap operas and “mature” videos as a young adult. Celeste also ingested hour upon hour of commercial advertising.

While she did attend church and professed to be a Christian, Celeste allocated very little time to cultivate a devotion life. Why? She was too busy feeding her obsession with TV. Celeste knew of God, but she didn’t know God, because she gave Him so little time to build a relationship. Because she didn’t have a clear view of how valuable Christ sees her, Celeste formed her self-image from the messaging advertisers tossed at her.

By her early teens, Celeste “got” the message that her overweight body would ensure she would never be attractive by societal standards. Like Terry, Celeste has decided that she is unattractive and thus, unlovable. Celeste struggles to believe that God loves her. She still chooses to distances herself from Him, which makes my heart hurt for her.

Like the sun’s ultraviolet rays that burn our skin, cultural messaging can burn us bad. If we don’t fight off the rays—Jesus sunblock, anyone? SPF unlimited!!—we allow our culture to dictate our worth in this world. 

Influences: Our Religious Experience

It may seem contradictory to say that your Christian religious experience may have contributed to your having an inaccurate view of your true identity. Unfortunately, not all pastors and teachers correctly represent God’s view of our value to Him.

Perhaps you were taught that God is more of a force than a person; that you really can’t have a relationship with Him. That He created the world, then took a hands-off approach, leaving us to try to muscle through the muck ourselves. Or maybe, like Janet, you were taught that God likes you ONLY when you’re perfect; but screw up, and His punishment will be painful and swift. That only through your good performance can you earn God’s good grace. So NOT true, Gals!

As a teen Janet rebelled against her church, her Christian family, and the God whom she assumed has little use for an imperfect servant like herself. Because of her church’s relentless focus on Christian obedience and righteousness, Janet didn’t get to learn about God’s compassion, forgiveness, and unconditional love. Janet saw herself in the hands of an angry God; desperate to please Him, but always failing to measure up.

Talk about negotiating life through quicksand! Now in her forties, Janet still fights with believing that God offers her unconditional grace. How I wish she could wholeheartedly grab onto the truth that God is quick to forgive and forget our failings—just as His Word promises.

For a church to teach that God expects performance-based righteousness is simply not biblical. Forcing Christ-followers into legalism prevents them from developing a relationship of trust and love with Him.

Ladies, if Jesus willingly went to the cross for us, how can we NOT believe in His ceaseless grace for us?

One of my favorite Bible verses speaks to the fact that there is nothing will EVER separate us from God’s unconditional love: Ephesians 3:17-19: “And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

Our 12-Week Journey About Our True Personal Identity!

Part of rightly understanding our true personal identity requires that we know how God sees us. As our loving creator, God says two things to us: “You are my child,” and “You are chosen.” Do you sense God’s heart toward you? Can you wrap you mind around the truth that God was thinking about you before He even created the world?

Let that truth sink into the depth of your heart and mind. It may take a lot of determination on your part, but as you begin to realize just how valuable you are in God’s eyes, you will be able to break the chains that keep you from accepting and loving yourself. Ladies, we CAN drop the burden of what other people think—and the judgments we hold for ourselves!

During this 12-week blog series, we’ll post about personal identity. Each post will include a song to remind us of the truth of how God sees us. Our song this week is Flawless by MercyMe. MercyMe has it exactly right: The cross has made YOU flawless. Accept this truth to experience the true joy of being YOU!

This blog series is based on Josh’s book See Yourself as God Sees You. It is our prayer that during this series you come to recognize and accept your true personal identity! God couldn’t love you more!

Buy the Book!

Parents Influence on Self-Worth: See Yourself As God Sees You

by JMM Team on 7 June, 2017

Ladies, in this post in our series exploring our true identity, we’re going to look at a touchy subject: the influence family, specifically our parents, has on our self-worth.

If your parents cherished you, you likely have a positive, healthy self-image. If instead you were coddled, you might possess a sense of entitlement. But if your parents constantly berated you or criticized you, you may picture yourself like Joanna, whom we mentioned in last week’s blog post. In Joanna’s own words, she views herself to be a slug; someone who can be counted on to mess up. 

If your childhood home wasn’t picture-perfect, remember this: parents often find themselves parenting the way their parents interacted with them.

God’s Intended Role for Parents

What is God’s ideal plan for developing a healthy sense of identity in children?

God’s optimum design begins with parents who fully commit to loving God and one another. This couple then becomes the primary conduit of God’s love for their children. As the children receive their loving care, absorb biblical instruction, and observe their parents’ godly example, they are able to view themselves through the lens of God’s grace.

But many of us didn’t grow up in this environment.

If our parents held negative evaluations of themselves, us, and God, it was impossible for us to come to trust in God’s unconditional love for us. Young children have no clear picture of who they are apart from the input they receive. They see themselves through the eyes of their caretakers. And they typically view themselves through the lens of their most dominant caretaker. Children who are repeatedly told that they are lacking accept that evaluation, and tend to live it out, unless other people come into their life and help them to see themselves as God does.

We all need people to think about us and safely convey appropriate care, interest, concern, and support for us.

We all desire and need recognition, for others to notice the good that exists in us. Unfortunately, some of our parents, including Joanna’s dad, choose to focus on our failings and imperfections. As a teen, I can remember asking my mom why she ignored the “A”s on my report card, to hone in on the one “C+.” Her reply: “It’s a given that I expect you to be capable of an A in every subject. So why should I need to commend you on getting one?” My motivation to please my mom took a nosedive. I mean, what was the point of trying, if every time I failed to achieve perfection I was going to be made to feel stupid for it?

A child who hears, “I know you can do it, sweetheart,” will have the courage to take risks.

A child who always hears that she never measures up will approach every obstacle in life with fear. Another side effect: that child is likely to dump criticism and judgement on other people, from learning the pattern from her parents.

Children model their parents’ behavior — good or bad — even if they recognize that it’s hurtful. My family relied on sarcasm to convey feelings; it was simply too vulnerable to be authentically open and real. 

What young children don’t realize is that their parents’ view of them is entirely subjective. It may NOT be truth, even though the child starts to believe it is. Because a parent can only model what she or he is capable of giving. So if parents see God’s light clearly in themselves, they’ll be able to share and shine that light on their children. But if they are living with a shadowy self-portrait, they will drive their children into the shadows as well.

Breaking the Chains of Unloving Parents

How did your parents relate to you? Did they treat you like a responsibility, a burden, or a distraction? Or did they make you feel special and valued, with a unique contribution to offer the world?

If you experienced a lot of negativity as a child, know that God promises to use it for your good. 

God uses ALL circumstances in our lives, the good and the bad, to prepare us for what He will do in us and through us. Everything that happens to us is an occasion for God to exercise His comfort us. And to prepare us to have the ability to comfort others.

If you’re having trouble forgiving a parent for their poor parenting of you, consider believing this: Your parents did the best they could.

Hear me out. I’m not saying that they did the BEST job possible. I’m saying they did the best job THEY could at the time. Truth: parents can’t give what they don’t have or know how to give. Is it fair? No. Is it sad? YES.

It breaks my heart to see parents poorly model God’s love. But it breaks my heart way worse to see those grown children stay enslaved by the chains of a flat-out wrong self-portrait. Like a grown elephant that accepts that the metal chain that once was strong enough to hold him as a baby STILL has the strength to do so. They call that learned helplessness.

God’s love, as demonstrated by loving, healthy people, can break the chains of the wrong messaging we’ve received. God uses people throughout our lives to mold us into the women He intends for us to be.

Take Sheila, for example. As a child and teen, Sheila desperately wanted her parents’ approval. But to relieve the stress of trying to meet their exacting demands, Sheila began cutting herself. When her mother discovered Sheila’s secret, she shamed Sheila. Sheila tried to stop cutting herself, but couldn’t. As her mother continued to shame her, Sheila began to believe what her mother said about her: She was damaged goods.

But God wanted to correct Sheila’s wrong self-view. He placed a compassionate, mature Sunday School teacher in Sheila’s life.

Through their relationship, Sheila slowly began to understand and trust that God viewed her as fully valuable and competent, no matter how disappointed her parents were in her. Sheila’s desire to cut herself stopped when she gratefully accepted the gift of God’s constant acceptance and affection. Sheila is now able to balance their expectations with God’s unceasing grace. Sheila’s self-portrait shines!

Sheila used scripture to remind herself of her value in Christ. She adopted these four scriptures to bring her self-portrait out of the shadows and into the light:

1. God completely accepts me (Colossians 1:21-22).

2. He deeply loves me (1 John 4:9-10).

3. He fully forgives me (Romans 5:1).

4. God is working for my good in all things (Romans 8:28).

Some days, in the rough and raw moments, it can be challenging to believe that God truly is working for our good. That He can bring beauty out of ashes. But God always keeps His promises! If visual reminders help you like they do Sheila, follow her example of jotting scripture onto index cards that you can post where you’ll frequently see them. As you read them, claim and believe God’s unconditional love for you!!! Christ, at the cross, willingly accepted the burden of our failing and weaknesses. And He stands, arms ever open, to welcome us as come to Him. GOD CARES!!!

Ladies, as you find healing, recognize that God may ask YOU to help other gals who are struggling to gain a clear view of their true self-identity. If He nudges you, act! Don’t let the moment pass! Even your warm smile, at just the right moment, might help one of our sisters in Christ to bask in His love. #awesome

See you next week, when we talk about how our secular society greatly influences our self-worth. Don’t miss it!

Our 12-Week Journey About Our True Personal Identity!

Part of rightly understanding our true personal identity requires that we know how God sees us. As our loving creator, God says two things to us: “You are my child,” and “You are chosen.” Do you sense God’s heart toward you? Can you wrap you mind around the truth that God was thinking about you before He even created the world?

Let that truth sink into the depth of your heart and mind. It may take a lot of determination on your part, but as you begin to realize just how valuable you are in God’s eyes, you will be able to break the chains that keep you from accepting and loving yourself. Ladies, we CAN drop the burden of what other people think — and the judgments we hold for ourselves!

During this 12-week blog series, we’ll post about personal identity. Each post will include a song to remind us of the truth of how God sees us. Our song this week is Never Been a Moment by Micah Tyler. Micah has it exactly right: There has NEVER been a moment when we were not loved by HIM. Accept this truth to experience the true joy of being YOU!

This blog series is based on Josh’s book See Yourself as God Sees You. It is our prayer that during this series you come to recognize and accept your true personal identity! God couldn’t love you more!

Parent Influence on Self-Worth: See Yourself As God Sees You

by Sheri Bell on 7 June, 2017

Ladies, in this, the fifth blog post in our series exploring our true identity, we’re going to look at a touchy subject: the influence family has on our self-worth. For good or bad, we inherit our initial perception of our identity from those who should love us the most: our parents.

If your parents cherished you, you likely have a positive, healthy self-image. If instead you were coddled, you might possess a sense of entitlement. But if your parents constantly berated you for being incompetent, you may picture yourself like Joanna, whom we mentioned in last week’s blog post. In Joanna’s own words, she views herself to be a slug; someone who can be counted on to mess up. 

If your childhood home wasn’t picture-perfect, remember this: parents are imperfect people. Some parents, sadly, don’t know how to model healthy love.

God’s Intended Role for Parents

What is God’s ideal plan for developing a healthy sense of identity in children?

God’s optimum design begins with parents who fully commit to loving God and one another. This couple then becomes the primary conduit of God’s love for their children. As the children receive their loving care, absorb biblical instruction, and observe their parents’ godly example, they are able to view themselves through the lens of God’s grace.

But many of us didn’t grow up in this environment.

If our parents held negative evaluations of themselves, us, and God, it was impossible for us to come to trust in God’s unconditional love for us. Young children have no clear picture of who they are apart from the input they receive. They see themselves through the eyes of their caretakers. And they typically view themselves through the lens of their most dominant caretaker. Children who are repeatedly told that they are lacking accept that evaluation, and tend to live it out, unless other people come into their life and help them to see themselves as God does.

We all need people to think about us and safely convey appropriate care, interest, concern, and support for us.

We all desire and need recognition, for others to notice the good that exists in us. Unfortunately, some of our parents, including Joanna’s dad, choose to focus on our failings and imperfections. As a teen, I can remember asking my mom why she ignored the “A”s on my report card, to hone in on the one “C+.” Her reply: “It’s a given that I expect you to be capable of an A in every subject. So why should I need to commend you on getting one?” My motivation to please my mom took a nosedive. I mean, what was the point of trying, if every time I failed to achieve perfection I was going to be made to feel stupid for it?

A child who always hears, “I know you can do it, sweetheart,” will have the courage to take risks.

A child who always hears that she never measures up will approach every obstacle in life with fear. Another side effect: that child is likely to dump criticism and judgement on other people, from learning the pattern from her parents.

Children model their parents’ behavior—good or bad—even if they recognize that it’s hurtful. My family relied on sarcasm to convey feelings; it was simply too scary to be authentically open and real. 

What young children don’t realize is that their parents’ view of them is entirely subjective. It may NOT be truth, even though the child starts to believe it is. Because a parent can only model what she or he is capable of giving. So if parents see God’s light clearly in themselves, they’ll be able to share and shine that light on their children. But if they are living with a shadowy self-portrait, they will drive their children into the shadows as well.

Breaking the Chains of Poor Parenting

How did your parents relate to you? Did they treat you like a responsibility, a burden, or a distraction? Or did they make you feel special and valued, with a unique contribution to offer the world?

If you feel disadvantaged because of a background devoid of God’s light, don’t let that discourage you.

God uses ALL circumstances in our lives, the good and the bad, to prepare us for what He will do in us and through us. Everything that happens to us is an occasion for God to exercise His comfort us. And to prepare us to have the ability to comfort others.

If you’re having trouble forgiving a parent for their poor parenting of you, consider believing this: Your parents did the best they could.

Hear me on this. I’m not saying that they did the BEST job possible. I’m saying they did the best job THEY could. Truth: parents can’t give what they don’t have or know how to give. Is it fair? No. Is it sad? YES.

It breaks my heart to see parents poorly model God’s love. But it breaks my heart way worse to see those grown children stay enslaved by the chains of a flat-out wrong self-portrait. Like a grown elephant that accepts that the metal chain that once was strong enough to hold him as a baby still has the strength to do so. Sadly, only in its mind.

Ladies, God’s love for us, as demonstrated by loving, healthy people, can break the chains of the wrong messaging we’ve received. With their help, God can mold us into the women He intends for us to be.

Take Sheila, for example. As a child and teen, Sheila desperately wanted her parents’ approval. But to relieve the stress of trying to meet their exacting demands, Sheila began cutting herself. When her mother discovered Sheila’s secret, she shamed Sheila. Sheila tried to stop cutting herself, but couldn’t. As her mother continued to shame her, Sheila began to believe what her mother said: She was damaged goods.

But God wanted to correct Sheila’s wrong self-portrait. He placed a compassionate, mature Sunday School teacher in Sheila’s life.

Through their relationship, Sheila slowly began to understand and trust that God viewed her as fully valuable and competent, no matter how disappointed her parents were in her. Sheila’s desire to cut herself stopped when she gratefully accepted the gift of God’s constant acceptance and affection. Sheila is now able to balance their expectations with God’s unceasing grace. Sheila’s self-portrait shines!

Sheila used scripture to remind herself of her value in Christ. She adopted these four scriptures to bring her self-portrait out of the shadows and into the light:

1. God completely accepts me (Colossians 1:21-22).

2. He deeply loves me (1 John 4:9-10).

3. He fully forgives me (Romans 5:1).

4. God is working for my good in all things (Romans 8:28).

Some days, in the rough and raw moments, it can be challenging to believe that God truly is working for our good. That He can bring beauty out of ashes. But God always keeps His promises! If visual reminders help you like they do Sheila, follow her example of jotting scripture onto index cards that you can post where you’ll frequently see them. As you read them, claim and believe God’s unconditional love for you!!! Christ, at the cross, willingly accepted the burden of our failing and weaknesses. And He stands, arms ever open, to welcome us as come to Him. GOD CARES!!!

Ladies, as you find healing, recognize that God may ask YOU to help other gals who are struggling to gain a clear view of their true self-portrait. If He nudges you, act! Don’t let the moment pass! Even your warm smile, at just the right moment, might help one of our sisters in Christ to bask in His love. #awesome

See you next week, when we talk about how our secular society greatly influences our self-worth. Don’t miss it!

Our 12-Week Journey About Our True Personal Identity!

Part of rightly understanding our true personal identity requires that we know how God sees us. As our loving creator, God says two things to us: “You are my child,” and “You are chosen.” Do you sense God’s heart toward you? Can you wrap you mind around the truth that God was thinking about you before He even created the world?

Let that truth sink into the depth of your heart and mind. It may take a lot of determination on your part, but as you begin to realize just how valuable you are in God’s eyes, you will be able to break the chains that keep you from accepting and loving yourself. Ladies, we CAN drop the burden of what other people think—and the judgments we hold for ourselves!

During this 12-week blog series, we’ll post about personal identity. Each post will include a song to remind us of the truth of how God sees us. Our song this week is Never Been a Moment by Micah Tyler. Micah has it exactly right: There has NEVER been a moment when we were not loved by HIM. Accept this truth to experience the true joy of being YOU!

This blog series is based on Josh’s book See Yourself as God Sees You. It is our prayer that during this series you come to recognize and accept your true personal identity! God couldn’t love you more!

Buy the Book!

Unmet Needs: See Yourself as God Sees You

by JMM Team on 31 May, 2017

Ladies, in this, the fourth blog post in our series exploring our true identity, we’re going to look at the 10 essential emotional needs we try to get met on a daily basis: Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation, Support, Encouragement, Affection, Respect, Security, Comfort, and Approval.

How might we react to life if our emotional needs are routinely unmet?

Perhaps like Joanna, who summarized herself this way: “A worm doesn’t adequately describe how I feel about myself. A worm can crawl underground and hide without leaving a trail. I’m more like the ugly slugs on my patio. Everywhere they go, they leave this horrible trail behind them. That’s what I’m like; I mess up everything wherever I go.”

Perhaps, like Joanna, you had a demanding, perfectionist parent who pushed you to be the best at everything you tried. In his attempt to get her there, Joanna’s dad used humiliation as his primary method of motivation. His pet names for her were Dummy, Slowpoke, Clumsy, Tubby, and Numbhead! The more mistakes Joanna made, the more humiliation he dumped on her.

Not surprisingly, Joanna entered adulthood with an I-can’t-do-anything-right attitude burned into her subconscious. Joanna’s dad hadn’t helped to meet her ongoing need for encouragement, respect, and approval. Instead, she internalized that she wasn’t worthy of having her needs met.

It’s incredibly sad that Joanna’s faulty self-view and distorted sense of identity has imprisoned her in depression, self-condemnation, and despair. In essence, Joanna is limping through life, unable to believe in herself, or others, because she has no idea that she is incredibly valuable in the view of the only source that truly matters: God. It’s a dismal and frustration way to live! Especially if you’re still stuck there after decades of life.

Let’s delve into the ten emotional needs. If you find yourself wincing at one, perhaps even feeling shame that it hurts so much to be so needy, jot it down so you can talk it over with God. Healing can be ours, Girlfriends!

Our Top Ten Emotional Needs

Need #1: Attention

We all need people to think about us and convey appropriate care, interest, concern, and support for us. We all want to be noticed for the good in us. Unfortunately, some of us have only been reminded of our mess-ups or imperfections. If we hear enough times that we are lacking, that’s what we start to believe. Women with a poor sense of identity can be so needy that they are incapable of giving selfless attention to others. Withdrawn, timid, and scared, others may view these damaged persons as being uncaring or egocentric. Others may not realize that their self-perceived inadequacy prevents them from having the courage to reach out and care for others.

Know anyone stuck in this pattern of needing to be noticed by others? If we seek out God’s continuous attention, we will find it! He is ALWAYS near. 

Need #2: Acceptance 

We’re all dying to be fully accepted, warts and all. The problem with seeking acceptance from people, however, is that we allow others to determine our worth. So our perception of our worth is in constant flux. When you’re around people who affirm and praise you, you feel worthy, right? But when you’re around critical friends, family members, or co-workers, does your sense of self-worth plunge? If so, you are enslaved to the opinions of others.

Ladies, parking here does us no good. The only way to break these chains is to accept that God FULLY ACCEPTS us, no matter what! Our worth to Him is NEVER based on our performance.

Need #3: Appreciation

We all want people to communicate to us that they appreciate us and are grateful. But our need for being appreciated can cause us serious problems if our expectations for how others should show us that appreciation is skewed or unrealistic. Gals, if you anticipate being rejected, cheated, and depreciated, your own self-defeating behaviors—including distrust and suspicion—may cause these very things to happen to you.

What can you do when you feel unappreciated? Allow God to remind you that He totally digs YOU. 

Need #4: Support

Some days are really hard to get through without someone coming alongside us to remind us that we’re not walking through life alone. We all need others to occasionally help us carry problems or struggles. When our need for support goes unmet, it’s so easy to believe that our needs are unimportant.

God already knows your needs, but He wants you to bring them to him and trust that He will help. God is always working on our behalf, even when we can’t see it. 

Need #5: Encouragement

Our need for encouragement means that we need people to urge us forward, but to also inspire us with courage, spirit, or hope. If you need constant encouragement, your self-esteem has definitely been affected. Imagine how Joanne’s self-image would have significantly improved if her dad had praised her for her efforts. 

An environment of criticism, blame, and humiliation injures the spirit, shakes the confidence, and crushes motivation. But how cool is it that God BELIEVES in us! It may take baby steps, but when we start believing this, we move from self-loathing and distrust to knowing that we can do all things God asks of us, as His word promises!

You are special! Unique! YOU are the only person on the planet who can do the work God birthed YOU to do!

Need #6: Affection

Most of us need others to communicate their care for us through affirming words, and studies have shown that physical touch is critical to most of us feeling good about ourselves. Some gals seek out sexual encounters to feel that someone thinks they are special.

Ladies, don’t give your body to be used up by others. Pour out your need to God. I find comfort in reading some of my favorite verses about God’s love for me, but I also seek out songs that remind me just how much He cares. This YouTube playlist is one of my favorites!

Need #7: Respect

We all need for others to hold us in high esteem and recognize our worth. We yearn to feel that our unique personality and contributions are needed. Some people use power and manipulation to feel they have the respect of others. But intimidation leads to fear, not respect. If we think that others find us unimportant, we often view ourselves as unimportant.

Once you personally experience God’s love, whether through studying His word or discovering it through the tender care of those others, no one can take this truth from you! 

Need #8: Security

We all need to feel safe. So we appreciate when people protect us from danger, deprivation, and harmful situations and relationships. Insecure people often depend on a stockpile of material possessions for security. They may also need a significant amount of structure and external control in their lives to feel safe. They may tend to be pessimistic about the future, and expect the worst to happen.

We can break this thought pattern by claiming God’s promises! God says, “You are secure.” Philippians 4:19, for example, says: “This same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from His glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.”

Ladies, take this verse and personalize it: “I can be secure, because God has promised to supply all my needs! God is with me always!”

Need #9: Comfort

We all have need of people to ease our grief and pain, as well people who give us strength and hope. When we get hurt emotionally or relationally, God’s prescription for healing includes the loving comfort of others. Those who suffer life’s deep hurts alone sense that they must not be worth much to the people who ignore their pain and need for comfort. So hurting people often erect barriers between themselves and others to prevent future hurt. The end result is relationships that are strained instead of nurturing.

One of the most frustrating parts of life is finding ourselves unable to relate authentically with others. To tell them when we need them, to tell them when they’ve hurt us, to tell them we’re sorry for hurting them.

But with God’s help, we can lower our pride and give people a chance to see us walk in truth.

Need #10: Approval

We naturally seek the approval of those around us, and align ourselves with those who make us feel that we’re okay, just as we are. If you got the message as a child that you nothing you do was good enough, you probably view yourself in a negative light. Bottom line: people who don’t feel loved, logically assume they are unlovable. They not only project this perception on others, but can also subconsciously behave in ways that communicate, “Don’t get too close because I’m not worth it.” Persons who feel unloved often become rigid and inflexible. Christians who can’t grasp God’s love become legalistic in their worship, perhaps thinking they have to pray longer, attend every service, and accept more responsibilities at church to “earn” God’s approval.

Ladies, we all need to remember that God unconditionally loves us—apart from whatever we accomplish or contribute. No matter whatever messes we bring Him. Hallelujah! #feelthelove

See Yourself as God Does!

Ladies, it is entirely possible to align our view of ourselves with God’s view of us—no matter how far we think the leap to be!

How does this amazing transformation take place? We’ll answer this question in greater detail during future posts in this series. But it requires just three doable steps:

1) We accept that God loves us.

I love that Joyce Meyer once used lipstick to write “God Loves Me” on her bathroom mirror—and kept repeating the phrase over and over and over until one day she realized with a start that she believed it! Get out your lipstick! It’s time to get this truth down deep into our hearts!

2) We commit ourselves to absorbing the character of God by studying His word.

Sweet Peas, please don’t be one of those defeated Christians who doesn’t know the power of the Bible! Write scriptures down on index cards and put them EVERYWHERE to remind yourself of how God sees you. Place scripture notes on your fridge, your car, even your bathroom mirror. The visual reminders help!

3) We allow mature, loving Christians to help us reshape our self-portrait until we see ourselves as Jesus does.

It’s important that we spend time with people who build us up with God’s love. Ask God to bring girlfriends into your life who will help you to walk in your true identity. Gals who will remind you of Jeremiah 31:3: That YOU are fully loved and accepted—day in and day out—for all time!  

See you next week, when we talk about how our parents greatly influenced our self-worth. Don’t miss it!

Our 12-Week Journey Through Our True Personal Identity

Part of rightly understanding our true personal identity requires that we know how God sees us. As our loving creator, God says two things to us: “You are my child,” and “You are chosen.” Do you sense God’s heart toward you? Can you wrap you mind around the truth that God was thinking about you before He even created the world?

Let that truth sink into the depth of your heart and mind. It may take a lot of determination on your part, but as you begin to realize just how valuable you are in God’s eyes, you will be able to break the chains that keep you from accepting and loving yourself. You can drop the burden of what other people think—and the judgments you hold for yourself!

During this 12-week blog series, we’ll post about personal identity. Each post will include a song to remind us of the truth of how God sees us. Our song this week is Hills and Valleys by Tauren Wells. Tauren has it exactly right: “You’re God of the Hills and Valleys. I am NOT alone!” Accept this truth to experience the true joy of being YOU!

This blog series is based on Josh’s book See Yourself as God Sees You.

It is our prayer that during this series you come to recognize and accept your true personal identity!

God couldn’t love you more!

Buy the Book!

BONUS: Enjoy a free download of Josh’s message, See Yourself as God Sees you, using Coupon code SEE17 (expires in August).

Live in the Light: See Yourself As God Sees You

by JMM Team on 24 May, 2017

Ladies, in this, the third blog post in our series exploring our true identity, let’s look at whether you’re shining the proper light on your portrait—the self image of YOU that you carry around inside your head.

As we’ve already noted, your TRUE identity comes from one single source: what God says about you. 

At Calvary, God declared to heaven, hell, and the whole earth that you are worth the gift of Jesus Christ, His dearly beloved son. God sees YOU as eternally lovable, and eternally valuable! #endofstory

Why, then, do so many of us live as if we don’t believe God views us as lovable and worthy? Because we DON’T view ourselves the way God does. We’re like paintings hanging in a dimly lit art gallery. The outlines of our frames are visible, but it’s impossible to make out the details of our features. Until, that is, God’s pure, truthful spotlight shines upon us. ONLY then can we see ourselves as the beautiful portraits God sees—free of the shadows of guilt and shame and self-loathing.

Ladies, I want to DAILY live in the truth of God’s light, not my self-imposed shadows. Are you with me?!

Lurking in the Shadows

Much of the way we think about ourselves TODAY, however, was formed during our early childhoods. These three critical questions may help you to discover why you may still be living as if you don’t know that God sees you as wholly loved and cherished:

1. How Much of God’s Light Was in Your Home When You Were a Child?

Were your parents and other significant adults in your life believers? If so, did they model a loving relationship with Jesus Christ? Or was their “religion” one of rules, prohibitions, and guilt? If the latter, you did not get a true picture of who God is or how He sees you. You may have even grown up seeing God as a demanding ogre who was ready to slap you down the moment you stepped out of line. You may have grown up thinking that you had to earn God’s love. If so, it’s likely that you believe that your value is entirely on your performance. Ladies, we can never EARN our way into Heaven. Thank God we don’t have to! We’ve already been given full access!

2. How Much of God’s Light Was in the Culture Around You?

If your childhood environment was strongly influenced by apathy and/or antagonism against God, the Bible, and Christianity, you definitely got a skewed view of the value God sees in you. Our increasingly secular society has moved from believing that each person has intrinsic worth, to declaring that a person’s value is determined by circumstance and factors. To some, an unwanted fetus has no value. For others, persons with mental illness have no value. To still others, people behind prison walls have no value. And to some, only those achieving fame and fortune have value. The truth: God views YOU as incredibly valuable, simply because He created you.

3. How Much of God’s Light Came Through Your Peers?

What kinds of friends did you hang out with as a child and teen? How did you and your college friends fill your time? Were your peers interested in helping you to further your walk with Jesus? Or did they influence you to push Him to the sidelines? If your friends were living in darkness, they helped to block God’s light in your life. 

Are you still allowing your peers to dictate how you feel about yourself? We will continue to feel diminished until we rightly sense just how valuable we are to God. Gals, we can protest our worthiness until we’re blue in the face—but we will NEVER change God’s mind on the subject! #hesayswerock

Accepting the Light

“No way can God love me,” you might be thinking. “He just puts up with me because I have accepted Jesus as my savior. God only forgives my sins because He has to, not because He wants to. God will never really love me. Maybe when I get to Heaven, but not now. For now, He’s just putting up with me.”

Ack! NOT! God DIGS us! We have only to look at Jesus to know this is true. In every single encounter Jesus had with people, His words and actions repeated one simple message: I HAVE COME TO PROVE THE VALUE GOD SEES IN YOU!

Ladies, on the days you’re feeling sad, like the gal in the above photo, choose to step out the shadows and into God’s unconditional love. Claim it. Believe it. Courageously live as the beautiful portrait God already sees! Erase your cloudy vision!

See you next week, when we walk through the 10 emotional needs that we go through life trying to get met. Don’t miss that post!!

Our 12-Week Journey Through Our True Personal Identity

Part of rightly understanding our true personal identity requires that we know how God sees us. As our loving creator, God says two things to us: “You are my child,” and “You are chosen.” Do you sense God’s heart toward you? Can you wrap you mind around the truth that God was thinking about you before He even created the world?

Let that truth sink into the depth of your heart and mind. It may take a lot of determination on your part, but as you begin to realize just how valuable you are in God’s eyes, you will be able to break the chains that keep you from accepting and loving yourself. You can drop the burden of what other people think—and the judgments you hold for yourself!

During this 12-week blog series, we’ll post about personal identity. Each post will include a song to remind us of the truth of how God sees us. Our song this week is Live Like You’re Loved by Hawk Nelson. Hawk has it exactly right: LIVE LIKE YOU’RE LOVED! STAND LIKE YOU KNOW WHO HE MADE YOU TO BE! Accept this truth to experience the true joy of being YOU!

This blog series is based on Josh’s book See Yourself as God Sees You.

It is our prayer that during this series you come to recognize and accept your true personal identity!

God couldn’t love you more!

Buy the Book!

BONUS: Enjoy a free download of Josh’s message, See Yourself as God Sees you, using Coupon code SEE17 (expires in August).

Mistaken Identity: See Yourself as God Sees You

by Sheri Bell on 17 May, 2017

Ladies, in this, the second blog post in our series exploring our true identity, let’s look at whether you’re walking around with a mistaken identity.

Say what???

Here’s what I mean: there is a very good chance, especially if you’re basing your self-identity and self-worth on the three cultural myths we covered last week, that you’re viewing yourself entirely incorrectly.

Though you might not be aware of it, you are carting around a personal identification photo with you 24/7. Whether you’re in the shower or in the grocery store, at the gym or in your kitchen. Even when you’re sound asleep, buried under mounds of covers.

Clearly, I’m not talking about the photo on your driver’s license. The identification photo I’m talking about is your inner self-portrait. The self-identity that positively, or negatively, affects your every thought and action. The self-identity that broadcasts to the world who you think you are.

Hear me on this, Ladies: who you THINK you are is NOT who you ARE, if your self-portrait is out of whack.

It might be time to get a new ID if you’re walking around defeated, demoralized, and depressed! It critical that you and I walk in the truth of our inherent worth!

How Do You See You?

When you think of yourself, do you worry that people will reject you if they see the “real” you? That people will think you’re stupid? Or silly? Or loud? Or irritating? If you had a critical parent or teacher, you may very well feel all of those things. If so, dear beloved gal of God, your inner self-portrait is badly out of focus.

I personally find it extremely irritating that the opinions of others has a powerful effect on our self-image. At least until we get clear on the worth God has already proclaimed over us. Until we can walk in the reassurance of God’s unceasing grace, the opinions of others will more often than not influence our emotional, relational, and spiritual well-being.

This is because research shows that we tend to act in harmony with what we perceive ourselves to be. And often we allow our perception of ourselves to be based entirely on how others treat  us.

So, if, for example, you see yourself as a failure, you will find some ways to fail, no matter how hard you desire to succeed. “I’m just not smart,” you might tell yourself. Or “I always mess up.” Or “I never get ahead.” Or “I will always be ugly and fat.” #shakeitoff #reorientyourvisual

I get it. Truly, I do. I was raised by a super critical mother. A mother who constantly found fault with me and constantly compared me to my younger siblings. One of the most hurtful things my mother ever said to me: “Why can’t you be as mature as your little sister?” Her criticism was cutting, as I was 16 and my sister only eight! For YEARS after I struggled to overcome the need to prove myself to everyone. “Ms. Know-It-All” was probably a good nickname for me during that time. (Apologies to anyone who knew me then!!) Only by beginning to see myself through God’s amazing grace did I become okay with not being perfect. 

Is Your Vision Cloudy?

Women with a cloudy self-portrait display a number of debilitating traits. Let’s look at just three of them:

Trait #1: Your Cloudy Self-Portrait Causes You Difficulty With Relating to Others

This is especially true when you are in the presence of people who remind you of your perceived short-comings. Women with a poor sense of identity can be so needy that they are incapable of giving selfless attention to others. The unfortunate result is that others view them as uncaring or egocentric. Others may not realize that your self-perceived inadequacy prevents you from having the courage to reach out and care for them. 

Trait #2: Your Cloudy Self-Portrait Causes You to Constantly Look to Others for Your Worth 

The problem with this trait is that as you are allowing others to determine your worth, you perceive your worth to be in constant flux. When you’re around people who affirm and praise you, you feel worthy. But when you’re around critical friends, family members, or co-workers, your sense of self-worth plunges. You are, in effect, a slave to the opinions of others. Ladies, I parked here for many years, as I sought approval and validation. The weariness of never liking myself was almost, at times, more than I could bear. Hallelujah that we don’t have to stay here!

Trait #3: Your Cloudy Self-Portrait Causes You to Have Negative Expectations

Ladies, if you anticipate being rejected, cheated, and depreciated, your own self-defeating behaviors—including distrust and suspicion—may cause these very things to happen to you. Any woman who imagines herself to be a worthless sinner potentially opens the door to sinful actions and habits. It breaks God’s heart to see us walk in personal inadequacy! We are beloved daughters of the Most High God! Let’s know it, believe it, and act like it!

Seeing Yourself as God Does!

If we are to alter our inner self-portrait to gain a healthy identity, we must align our view of ourselves with God’s view of us. Ladies, this is entirely possible—no matter how far we think the leap to be!

How does this amazing transformation take place?

I promise you that we’ll answer this question in greater detail during future posts in this series. But just know that it requires three doable steps.

1) We accept that God loves us.

I love that Joyce Meyer once used lipstick to write “God Loves Me” on her bathroom mirror—and kept repeating the phrase over and over and over until one day she realized with a start that she believed it! Get out your lipstick, ladies! It’s time to get this truth down deep into your heart!

2) We commit ourselves to absorbing the character of God by studying His word.

Please don’t be one of those defeated Christians who doesn’t know the power of the Bible! Write scriptures down on index cards and put them EVERYWHERE to remind yourself of how God sees you. I have scripture notes on my fridge, in my car, even in my bathroom. Trust me, they help!

3) We allow mature, loving Christians to help us reshape our self-portrait until we see ourselves as Jesus does.

It’s important that we spend time with people who build us up with God’s love. Ask God to bring girlfriends into your life who will help you to walk in your true identity. Ladies who will remind you of what Jeremiah 31:3 says: That YOU are fully loved and accepted—day in and day out—for all time!  

See you next week, when we talk about living in the light of God’s view of us, rather than the shadows we often create for ourselves! Don’t miss it!

Our 12-Week Journey Through Our True Personal Identity

Part of rightly understanding our true personal identity requires that we know how God sees us. As our loving creator, God says two things to us: “You are my child,” and “You are chosen.” Do you sense God’s heart toward you? Can you wrap you mind around the truth that God was thinking about you before He even created the world?

Let that truth sink into the depth of your heart and mind. It may take a lot of determination on your part, but as you begin to realize just how valuable you are in God’s eyes, you will be able to break the chains that keep you from accepting and loving yourself. You can drop the burden of what other people think—and the judgments you hold for yourself!

During this 12-week blog series, we’ll post about personal identity. Each post will include a song to remind us of the truth of how God sees us. Our song this week is Through Your Eyes by Britt Nicole. Britt has it exactly right: “Lord, you don’t want perfection, you just want my heart.” Accept this truth to experience the true joy of being YOU!

This blog series is based on Josh’s book See Yourself as God Sees You.

It is our prayer that during this series you come to recognize and accept your true personal identity!

God couldn’t love you more!

Buy the Book!

BONUS: Enjoy a free download of Josh’s message, See Yourself as God Sees you, using Coupon code SEE17 (expires in August).

Personal Identity: See Yourself as God Sees You

by JMM Team on 10 May, 2017

Ladies, in this, the first blog post in our series exploring our true identity, we have to ask: How do you see yourself? As God sees you—or as the world sees you?

Are you basing your personal identity on your job title? Your marital status? Your dress size? The car you drive? The volume of “Likes” your selfies and posts garner on Facebook?

Be honest: you’ve ranked and compared yourself to others in all or most of these areas, right?

And for the simple reason that your family, friends, educators—and especially the media—have drilled it into your head non-stop that your beauty, status, wealth, and power define your self-worth. Lack these, says our society, and you’re not really all that important. Did you just shudder, as I did, at the thought of being viewed as a “nobody” or “average”? 

Even the church must take ownership of making us feel that we’re not quite up to snuff.

With so much societal pressure and manipulation to be “successful,” it can be dang hard to love and accept ourselves. To get through even a single hour without beating ourselves up. (Are you trying to be the perfect mom? Wife? Daughter? Employee? Christian? Ack!)

Sadly, so many women—even Christian women—are unhappy, unfulfilled, and despondent on a daily basis. Why? Because they’re not living out their true personal identity. Are you among this group of ladies who are utterly exhausted with trying to do enough, be enough, like themselves enough to fend off self-condemnation?

The good news: this vicious cycle of comparison and self-judgement can be smashed like the mirror above if we’ll base our identities on the only criteria that matters: what God thinks of us!

Spoiler alert: He thinks we ROCK! Even on our messiest days of mayhem and muck! God views us as wholly loved, wholly accepted, and whooly understood! WAHOOOOOOOO! #hesaidit #letsbelieveit #yeehaw!

Woman of God, it’s time to get this truth down deep into your soul. It’s time to start living the truth of your inherent worth!

So, What Makes You You?

Let’s start this blog series about your true personal identity with who you are NOT. You are not your physical attributes, your education, your career, or your accomplishments. You are not your ethnic origin, your family pedigree, or your credit rating. These are merely outer layers of your identity.

Let’s look at three myths that our culture swears determine our worth: our appearance, our performance, and our status. Three myths that you’ve probably fallen for hard. Three myths you need to shatter!

Myth #1: Your Image Determines Your Identity

If you’re insecure about your physical appearance, you’ve likely bought into the lie that you need to meet society’s standards of beauty. Teased, tanned, toned, thin—is it ever enough??? Society daily bombards us with messages that subtly and overtly tell us that beautiful people are more valuable, loved, wanted, happier. This wrong messaging leads many women to beauty products and plastic surgery to “fix” what they become convinced is wrong with themselves.

Yet even after all that, some women can’t feel beautiful. Because they haven’t fixed the root problem of viewing themselves as flawed.  

Ladies, as God’s unique creations, we are of infinite value and worth! Our looks don’t change God’s view of our intrinsic beauty. Won’t you stop handing others the power to make you feel good about yourself? 

Myth #2: You Are What You Do

This myth suggests that our performance determines our worth and personal identity. Ladies, we live in a task-oriented society that assigns value based on how much and how well persons do their jobs. Unfortunately, the measure of competence is typically comparison to others. Which is why so many of us feel threatened when others succeed. Workaholics almost always base their identity on their performance. If you’re unable to satisfy your need to perform, you probably find it very difficult to relax.

As a wise person once noted, we were created as human beings, not human doings.

Ladies, won’t you stop striving in order to feel valued? You’re already so highly valued by the creator of the universe!

Myth #3: You Are Somebody Only If You Have Power

Have you ever asked yourself, “How important am I?” If you feel the need to constantly assess your level of influence or control over others, you’ve bought into this myth. Let it go. The Bible is clear that our identity as God’s children does not depend on our status here on earth. Rather, God asks us to humbly demonstrate a servant’s heart.

Power, even if we achieve it, is fleeting.

Ladies, whether you are regarded as a somebody or a nobody by others, God views you as having tremendous worth and value. Won’t you trust Him on that? 

Next week we’ll talk about the mistaken identity that many of us walk around with. Don’t miss it!

Our 12-Week Journey About Our True Personal Identity!

Part of rightly understanding our true personal identity requires that we know how God sees us. As our loving creator, God says two things to us: “You are my child,” and “You are chosen.” Do you sense God’s heart toward you? Can you wrap you mind around the truth that God was thinking about you before He even created the world?

Let that truth sink into the depth of your heart and mind. It may take a lot of determination on your part, but as you begin to realize just how valuable you are in God’s eyes, you will be able to break the chains that keep you from accepting and loving yourself. Ladies, we CAN drop the burden of what other people think—and the judgments we hold for ourselves!

During this 12-week blog series, we’ll post about personal identity. Each post will include a song to remind us of the truth of how God sees us. Our song this week is Beloved by Jordan Feliz. Jordan has it exactly right: YOU are BELOVED. Accept this truth to experience the true joy of being YOU!

This blog series is based on Josh’s book See Yourself as God Sees You.

It is our prayer that during this series you come to recognize and accept your true personal identity!

God couldn’t love you more!

Buy the Book!

BONUS: Enjoy a free download of Josh’s message, See Yourself as God Sees you, using Coupon code SEE17 (expires in August).

Peace of Mind in an Unstable World

by Guest Blogger on 8 July, 2016

No matter what the future holds, you can have peace of mind and confidence when you know this.

No matter what happens in the world or in our own individual lives, is there a place to turn for stability? Can we look toward the future with hope, regardless of life’s and the world’s circumstances? These days many people are seeing the value of God as their constant. The world around us is ever-changing, but God does not change. He is steady, reliable. He says, “Is there any God besides me? No, there is no other Rock; I know not one. For I, the Lord, do not change.”¹ God is always there. He can be counted on. He is “the same yesterday and today, and forever.”² And God can make himself known, giving us a peace of mind through him, setting our hearts securely at rest.

(Original article on EveryStudent.com)   PDF

Is Peace of Mind Possible?

Heather, a Stanford grad, put it this way: “To be in a real-life relationship with God is a staggering and beautiful daily reality. There is ‘cosmic companionship’ that I won’t trade the world for. I am deeply known and loved in a way I can only hope to adequately communicate.”

Steve Sawyer, a hemophiliac, looked for stability when he found out that he’d received HIV from a bad blood transfusion. At first Steve was in great despair. He blamed God. Then Steve reached out to God. The result: the last few years of his life, Steve travelled to countless college campuses (enduring great pain) just to tell fellow students how they could know God and experience the peace he had experienced in knowing him. God has said, “My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”³

Like Steve, others have learned that no matter what happens in this life, it’s not “the end of the world” — because this world isn’t the end.

The God of the Foxholes

Admittedly, many people wait until times get really rough before they turn to God. A military chaplain from World War II explained that “there are no atheists in the foxholes.” When life is rosy, people don’t feel like they need God. But that often changes when things get messy, when we realize we’re in the trenches.

Caryn explains her path to God like this: “I thought I was a Christian because I went to church on Sunday, but I had no idea who God was. My senior year in high school looked much like my other three years. I spent most of my time getting drunk, high, or trying to find some way for someone to love me. I was dying inside and had no control over my life. It was when I realized how much I wanted my life to end that I knew when I went away to college I had to find some hope. It was then that I asked God to come into my life. He has shown me love, security, forgiveness, support, comfort, acceptance, and a purpose for living. He is my strength, and I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for him.”

Who knows what the future holds? Many may feel like they’re in a foxhole. Life can be a battle. Our peace of mind can be greatly shaken. At those moments when the heat is on, we often reach out to God. That’s okay, because God, the constant, is there and actually wants to be involved in our lives. He says, “I, even I, am the Lord; and there is no savior besides me. Turn to me and be saved…for I am God, and there is no other.”⁴

Yes, God can be thought of as a “crutch,” but it’s likely that he is the only truly legitimate one.

The Invisible Foxholes

Some people, however, turn to God even when things seem to be going well. John explained that: “By my senior year, I had achieved everything that people were telling me would make me fulfilled — having leadership roles in campus organizations, partying, making good grades, dating girls I was really attracted to. Everything that I wanted to do and achieve while in college came to pass — and yet I was still unfulfilled. Something was still missing and I had nowhere else to go. Of course, no one knew I was feeling this way about life — on the outside I didn’t show it.”

Even when things seem to go right, life can still present a foxhole — an internal one that’s invisible to the naked eye but felt in the heart. Becky described that phenomenon this way: “How many times have you thought that if you just had that piece of clothing, or that boyfriend, or got to visit some place, that then your life would be happy and complete? And how many times have you purchased that shirt, or dated that guy or visited that place and walked away feeling more empty than when you began?”

We don’t need failure or tragedy to feel the foxholes. Most often lack of peace results simply from the absence of God in our lives. Becky says of coming to know God, “Since then I’ve had many struggles and changes in my life, but everything I do takes on a new perspective knowing that I have a loving, eternal God on my side. I believe that there is nothing that God and I can’t handle together — and as for the completeness that I had searched so hard for, I had finally found it.”

With God involved in our lives, we can rest easy. As we get to know God and listen to what he says in the Bible, he brings about that peace of mind in our lives, because we know him. We see life from his vantage point, aware of his faithfulness and ability to take care of us. So no matter what the future holds, we can place our hope in God as our constant. He’s waiting to prove himself in our lives if we will turn to him and seek him.

True Peace of Mind – Building Upon the Rock

Are you building upon something in your life? Believe it or not, every person is building upon something. Each of us has a foundation, something we’re putting our hope and faith in. Maybe it’s ourselves — “I know I can make my life a success if I try hard enough.” Or a lifestyle — “If I can make enough money, life will be wonderful.” Or even a time period — “The future is going to change things.”

God has a different viewpoint. He says it is shaky ground to put our hope and faith in ourselves, in other people, or in anything this world offers. Instead, he wants us to trust in him. He says, “Everyone who hears these words of mine, and acts upon them, may be compared to a wise man, who built his house upon the rock. And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and burst against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded upon the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine, and does not act upon them, will be like a foolish man, who built his house upon the sand. And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and burst against that house; and it fell, and great was its fall.”⁵

It’s wise to have God involved in our lives for those times when the catastrophes come. But God’s intent is for us to have a more abundant life no matter what the circumstances are. He wants to have a positive influence on every area of our lives. When we rely upon him and his words, we are building upon the Rock.

The Ultimate Peace of Mind

Some people feel secure being the child of a multi-millionaire, or knowing they can easily pull good grades. There is an even greater security in having a relationship with God.

God is powerful. Unlike us, God knows what will happen tomorrow, next week, next year, the next decade. He says, “I am God, and there is no one like me, declaring the end from the beginning.”⁶ He knows what will happen in the future. More importantly, he knows what will occur in your life and will be there for you when it happens, if you’ve chosen to include him in your life. He tells us that he can be “our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble.”⁷ But we must make a sincere effort to seek him. He says, “you will seek me and find me, when you search for me with all your heart.”⁸

That doesn’t mean that those who know God will not go through difficult times. They will. If our nation encounters terrorist attacks, environmental or economic disasters, those who know God will be included in the suffering. But there is a peace and a strength that God’s presence gives. One follower of Jesus Christ put it this way: “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”⁹ Reality tells us that we will confront problems. However, if we go through them in relationship with God, we can react to them with a different perspective and with a strength that is not our own. No problem has the capacity to be insurmountable to God. He is bigger than all the problems that can hit us, and we are not left alone to deal with them.

God cares. God’s great power, which can be shown in our lives, is accompanied by his deep love. The future might be a time of world peace as never seen before, or maybe there will be more ethnic hatred and violence, more divorce, etc. In either case, no one will love us as much as God can love us. No one will care for us as highly as God can care for us. His Word tells us, “The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him.”¹⁰ “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”¹¹ And, “The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.”¹²

Jesus Christ told his followers these comforting words: “Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Therefore do not fear; you are of more value than many sparrows.”¹³ If you turn to God, he will care for you as no one else does, and in a way that no one else can.

Peace of Mind through God

We have no idea what the future holds. If it brings hard times, God can be there for us. If it brings easy times, we will still need God to fill that inner void we have and to give our lives meaning.

When all is said and done, what matters most? What really matters is that we are not separated from God. Do we know God? Does he know us? Have we shut him out of our lives? Or have we let him in? Through knowing him, he produces in us a changing perspective and gives us hope. Through being in a relationship with him, we can have peace in the midst of all circumstances.

Why must God be central to our lives? Because there is no real peace or hope apart from knowing him. He is God and we are not. He does not depend on us, but we must depend upon him. He created us to need his presence in our lives. We can try to make life work without him, but it will be futile.

God wants us to seek him. He wants us to know him and to have him involved in our lives. But there is a problem: we’ve all shut him out. The Bible describes it this way: “We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way.”¹⁴ We’ve all tried to make our lives work without God. That’s what the Bible calls “sin.”

Heather, quoted earlier, says concerning sin: “When I entered Stanford, I was not a Christian. The world lay at my feet then, waiting to be revolutionized. I attended political meetings, took classes on racism and social justice, and immersed myself at the community service center. I believed in the power within me to make a significant difference in the world. I tutored underprivileged elementary school kids; I ran the day camp at a homeless shelter; I collected leftover food to feed the hungry. Yet, the more I tried to change the world, the more frustrated I became. I confronted bureaucracy, apathy, and…sin. I began to think that maybe human nature needed a basic overhaul.”

Peace of Mind = Peace with God

Changing times and improved technology don’t really matter all that much in the grand scheme of things. Why? Because our basic problem as human beings is that we’ve distanced ourselves from God. Our greatest problems are not physical, but spiritual. God knows this, so he provided a solution for our separation from him. He made a way for us to find our way back to him…through Jesus Christ.

The Bible says that, “God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”¹⁵Jesus Christ was crucified (an ancient form of execution) for our sins, in our place. He died, was buried, then rose from the dead. Because of his sacrificial death, we can come into a relationship with God — “To all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.”¹⁶

It’s really rather simple: God wants to be in perfect relationship with us — so he made that relationship possible through Jesus. It’s then up to us to seek God and ask him into our lives. Most people do this through prayer. Prayer means talking honestly with God. Right now you can reach out to God by telling him something like this in sincerity: “God, I want to know you. I haven’t allowed you into my life thus far, but I want to change that. I want to take advantage of your solution for my separation from you. I am relying on Jesus’ death on my behalf so that I can be forgiven and be made right with you. I want you to be involved in my life from this day forward.”

Have you sincerely asked God into your life? Only you and he know for sure. If you have, you have a lot to look forward to. God promises to make your present life one of greater satisfaction because of your relationship with him.¹⁷ He promises to make his home in you.¹⁸ And he gives you eternal life.¹⁹

Melissa had this to say about God: “My mother divorced my father when I was very young, and I wasn’t really sure what was going on. I only knew that my father no longer came home. One day I went to visit my grandmother and I told her that I didn’t understand why my father would hurt me and then disappear. She hugged me and told me that there was someone who would never leave me, and that someone was Jesus. She quoted Hebrews 13:5 and Psalms 68:5 which say ‘I will never leave, nor forsake you’ and ‘He will be a father to the fatherless.’ I was really excited to hear that God wanted to be my Father.”

No matter what happens in the world around you, there is peace of mind knowing that God can be there for you. Regardless of what the future holds, you can have God as your constant.

(1) Isaiah 44:8 and Malachi 3:6 in the Bible (2) Hebrews 13:8 (3) John 14:27 and 16:33 (4) Isaiah 43:11 and Isaiah 45:22 (5) Matthew 7:24-27 (6) Isaiah 46:9-10 (7) Psalm 46:1 (8) Jeremiah 29:13 (9) 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 (10) Nahum 1:7 (11) 1 Peter 5:7 (12) Psalms 145:17-19 (13) Matthew 10:29-31 (14) Isaiah 53:6a (15) John 3:16 (16) John 1:12 (17) John 10:10 (18) John 14:23 (19) 1 John 5:11-13